All these years...

All these years, I've been loving you so much, in the this is what we'd became..?? I gotta love one all by myself only from now on... :'(



You, take all of my life off for loving you so much... :'(

-[aLbY]-

Happy Birthday To Me - 25/07/09

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to Alby,
Happy Birthday to ME...

I'm officially 22 now everyone, not 25, 27, 29, 32, or a daddy yet too! Those will be the days I'll pass thru later on...so wish me Happy 22nd Birthday! Thanks to all the friends/buddies/bro/sis/family/relatives which have celebrated birthday with me as well as greeted me on my birthday! I appreciate all the goodwills from all of y'll! Thank you very very very much...

p/s: More update of my birthday coming soon! Stay tune...

-[aLbY]- @ Birthday Boy

Everyday...

Its been a long time. I've been sleeping early morning everyday. EVERYDAY! Like what? 6am? 7am? Or 8am? Well, i couldn't change my appearance at all! Mature? Old? Worsten? Tired? Godlike which most have been saying? Im still myself in the end but...something is just not right and its missing in my life? Health is getting worsten by the days come.. ='( goodnight everybody who has been reading on my blog! Sweet dreams to those 'night rider'..sweet dreams & take care peopl! ='(

WHY?

I've a dedication of song for you. I knew it could be bored to you as most of the words I've mentioned it before as in the lyrics, but all these are true words from me which is the same, as well as my heart is still the same to you, I still love my baby as much as before...

(with 3T)

(Michael)
Why does Monday, come before Tuesday
Why do summers start in June
Why do winters come too soon
Why do people fall in love
When they're always breaking up, oh why
Why do we love if love will die

Why does Wednesday come after Tuesday
Why do flowers come in May
Why springtime go away
Why do people fall in love
When they're always breaking up, oh why
Why do I love you tell me why

(TJ)
It's not like I can explain what's in my heart
It's just I feel a crazy pain when we're apart
I don't wanna breathe, I don't wannna think
I don't wanna learn
I don't wanna do anything

(Taryll)
It's not like I can describe what's going on
It's just I feel I'm not alive
When you're not home
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna be
(TAJ)
I just want you here beside me
Without you there's no me

(Michael)
Why does Monday come before Tuesday
Why do summers start in June
Why do winters come too soon
Why do people fall in love
When they're always breaking up, oh why
Why do we love if love will die

(Michael & Taryll)
Why does Wednesday come after Tuesday
Why do flowers come in May
Why does springtime go away
Why do people fall in love
When they're always breaking up, oh why
Why do I love you tell me why

(TJ)
It's not like I can escape, what's in my soul
Cause without you inside my heart
Where can I go
(Taryll)
I don't wanna see, girl you without me
I can't go through life without you
(TAJ)
Without you there's no me

(All)
Why does Monday come before Tuesday
Why do summers start in June
Why do winters come too soon
Why do people fall in love
When they're always breaking up, oh why
Why do we love if love will die

(Taryll)
Why do the rivers flow to the sea
In every flow I get your love over me, babe
Why does my heart miss your kiss
To be in love, to fall in love
Why don't I feel complete

(All)
Why does Monday come before Tuesday
Why do summers start in June
Why do winters come too soon
Why do people fall in love
When they're always breaking up, oh why
Why do I love tell me why

(TJ)
Tell me why
(TAJ)
Tell me why
(Taryll)
Tell me why
(Michael)
Tell me why

-----------------------------------------

Of all these years, X has been very sensitive at most time, X couldn't resist if anybody gets close to Y, each time when Y has A, B or etc gets closer, X would get upset but when Y knows that X is being sensitive or also can be known as "jealous", Y said X didn't trusted Y. X thought of it that X shouldn't be that sensitive if X really loves Y as X wanted this relationship to be sustained for a very very long time. Therefore, X begin to be more positive, didn't really bother A, B or others existing anymore...both X & Y has very wide network of friends. Sad to say, there were many "unexpected circumstances" happened within the years, X have been accused over the years by many people that X isn't loyal to Y, X isn't a good partner, X treated Y very badly, X is not worthy, X is a player, X is just a useless person. Y was influenced many times, both X & Y argued terribly because of the rumours and hypocrites even during their "cold war" (brokeup situation). X had thank all those who tried destroying X's lifetime precious with Y too!

In the end, Y is also the decision maker whether to trust X or don't. But Y did told X before that "why shall we listen to others rumours/hypocrite as only the both of us knows whats happening?". X had even put higher hope onto the relationship because of this. But X has always been in dilemma because those hypocrites have been poisoning Y of X a liar, X is just faking to take Y for granted and etc. Nevertheless, Y trusted them because Y believe that third parties words are right at one point. X have been avoiding from meeting/bumping onto the hypocrites, but eventually Y was told that X is just fooling Y. Both X & Y argued terribly because of the hypocrites, Y continued to hate X because of the hypocrites & the "history" between them, X been trying to hold things and changed things back as before as though when Romeo was going after Juliet moment. Y didn't want to listen to X at all, X has been telling Y everything and apologizing for the reluctance X have done towards Y and forgive X and believe in X because X loves Y for the lifetime X wanted since the both have made many commitments to make this relationship to move further by another step. Y still insist not forgiving X, X have been trying over the months to save the precious relationship since they broke up until today, but on the other side, X knew that Y met Z and begin to get closer to Z. X knew that Z & Y are colleagues, X always believe that Y loves X very much, and even Y have made the commitment that no matter who it is, nobody could replace X because X is the one that Y will only love...X believe in Y in that case because Y have made such commitment towards X! X is very happy with the promise made by Y.

As day passes by, Z knew that Y & X have been arguing, Z have been accompanying Y all the time, X isn't in the picture at all, but sooner or later, X realized Y & Z begin to gets even closer day by day. X have been loving Y a lot, X have never stopped chasing Y back before because of all the commitments they made together which what both of them wanted in order to sustain the relationship to live together happily under the same roof which Y initially knows about it! But with Z's existing,...X never be in the picture anymore. X's heart is severely damaged now, X haven't been sleeping well over the months missing Y, thinking of Y, chasing Y back although Y have been rejecting X all these while, but X's determination has never been turn down before yet X is still in strong determination for this relationship because of all the things they have been through all these years. X loves Y very much deeply, but X don't know why does Y knows X over the years, but Y don't seems to get it through by Yself that X is really the one that have loved and being true over Y. There are many things spinning in Y's mind, X isn't a perfectionist, X isn't a 100% perfect partner, but X have been through so much with Y as compared to Z, X & Y should deserve to be together as many likes and also dislikes us being together. Y has been very good towards X, Y have isolated the words of A, B and others, then continue with X, but till an extend, Y begin to have ONLY negative thought in the mind. X is depressed, X has been worrying why does Y only has the negative thought but not thinking it positively instead.

X have been tearsing everyday and night over the months, craving to hope that Y allow the both of them to get back because X wants to have and live with Y only. X loves Y till the bottom of the heart, although the severe damage of the heart is in existing, but X never expected anything EXTRA other than Y's love and care before. X didn't want any gift, money or fame provided Y is by X's side. X have confessed to Y and everybody before that X didn't want to live without Y! Y did confessed to X personally before too...that's why the loveship by X to Y is still strong no matter what happens right up till today and hoped that Z would get out of Y's life, so that Y would consider to let X get back together with Y. X is always stupid doing all the stupid things, if X is really stupid for loving Y, then Y shall prove to X that X is stupid all these years...

2more upcoming meaningful event is coming soon..wondered how would it be this year? I shall pen-off by now. Nitez...

-[aLbY]-

One day in your life . . .

One day in your life
you'll remember a place
Someone's touching your face
You'll come back and you'll look around you

One day in your life
You'll remember the love you found here
You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day...

One day in your life
When you find that you're always waiting
For the love we used to share
Just call my name
And I'll be there

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh...)

You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day...

One day in your life
When you find that you're always longing
for the love we used to share
Just call my name
And I'll be there

(Ohh...)

p/s: I've a confession to make for you baby, things you may never know how much I love you and how much you mean to me, it has almost been 5months coming soon. As what it is until today, one day in your life, when you call my name, i'll be there for you anytime back cause I love you with a heart that purely been loving you truthfully, it's stupid, I know, I also know many who reads this think that it's just all lies, I'm faking it, alright, I won't care any of their view on me cause my love for you since the day we begin, you've got my words right until today, I've never changed it or make it unreal before, "I'll never gonna let my hands of you.." I've always been alone, without you realizing, I've been missing you so badly, I knew that you'll hate one for long, and tell me about it, if my love for you all these years including all the things i've done for you, to you, are all fake, then i'll be forgotten, or else, as what it is sang in the song, "One day in your life", call for my name, and I'll be there for you, once and for all my life...loving you truthfully and faithfully! My love for you, is still the same although you weren't around, I'd been suffocating from tears, believe it or not I'm still telling you the truth that I love you baby....and I miss you very very very much!~

Love,
-bEE-

If you don't know me by now...

If you dont know me by now
You will never never never know me

All the things that weve been through
You should understand me like I understand you
Now girl I know the difference between right and wrong
I aint gonna do nothing to break up our happy home
Oh dont get so excited when I come home a little late at night
Cos we only act like children when we argue fuss and fight

If you dont know me by now (if you dont know me)
You will never never never know me (no you wont)
If you dont know me by now
You will never never never know me

Weve all got our own funny moods
Ive got mine, woman youve got yours too
Just trust in me like I trust in you
As long as weve been together it should be so easy to do
Just get yourself together or we might as well say goodbye
What good is a love affair when you cant see eye to eye, oh

If you dont know me by now (if you dont know me)
You will never never never know me (no you wont)
If you dont know me by now (you will never never never know me)
You will never never never know me (ooh)

p/s: Did you know how much I'm missing you, you make me tears so much every night, could you please not ignore, abandoned or reluctant of me baby? I'm suffocating, everything, and I DID NOT PRETEND NOR BEING FAKE BEFORE as what you thought and as what all the surrounding says! :'( why is it to have a life with you is so difficult since its been over the years...i love you baby! I seriously love you with all my heart! :'(

-[aLbY]-