Monday, March 23, 2009

Confession for 23-03-2009.






It's been another day, another day that i've been depressing, another day that i'm misses someone i been loving most, another day that it's tearsing again in the midnight missing someone so badly! Though today was a beautiful Sunday evening, the sunset was beautiful, the sun was very sunny, the feeling reminded me of the times when we were together. Just as how you shine your presence in my life, how you we'd been through the ups and downs together, most importantly, whatever that we've said to each other, i remembered each and every moment in detail...

Although i've hurt you last year, we've said to forgive and forget about the bad past and start all over again, even better than before. I believe in you, i always have been believe that you changes my life to a better life, you changes my everything including my mind, you gave the way i want my life to be...you gave me the best of everything i'd in life, your love..

I didn't lie, I didn't betray, I didn't have you for granted, I didn't fooled you before, I'd never taken you as a toy, I've never been fake to you too baby! My love has always been pure to you.. I only have you who I can be trusted, no one else that I could count on, no one as much as you because I love you all by my heart baby..i miss you very very much!~
_______________________________________________
For you:
"I'm so happy,
So happy that you're in my life
And baby now that you're a part of me
You showed me
Showed me the true meaning of love
And I know you loves me..."
_______________________________________________

p/s: "I can't smile without you because i'll never find someone like you baby...when I hold your hands, I'll never gonna let you go as i promised and as it is in the picture in this post too..Happy Anniversary Baby"

-[aLbY]-
Day 33

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Somewhere . . .

My soul is lost somewhere else, i don't know where is it, but i know it's somewhere...which i'm forbid to be there! :'( i'm lost, where are you? I needed you so badly, where had you been, where are you baby? :'(

-[aLbY]-

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Confession of the truth . . .







Time flies really fast, without noticing, years have passes by, and i'd my eyes opened to see many things in life. What most precious in my life is having you appearing to be in my life, i didn't lie yet i didn't fake around. I don't need to be fake to you no matter what it is baby. The moment i hold your hand and you were hold, i've told you before, i'll never gonna let you go...it's been years i've been saying it over to you, i mean my words because i really love you very, very, very much! My love for you had never changed since before, thus, i love you more each day since those days..i know i've hurt you before, i'm apologizing a billion and infinity of times! I miss you really very much baby..i remembered Twilight the movie, you said you hoped that we could be as lovely as them in the movie in our relationship, i promised i said we will be, and no matter how hard it is for me, i'll still make it happen because you're part of my life that as though the both of them in the movie! No matter how or what, i've never stopped loving you before, i've really been very serious towards the relationship, it's for you, this is all for you, to believe and to trust, "Alby, is still always been the one you claimed to miss and that loves very much..". I'd never betrayed you in my life before, never, i'd never lied to you about the past before either, never, i'd never been regretted of whatever happened within us, but to be more loving over you EXCLUSIVELY JUST FOR YOU ONLY my baby...


I've tonnes to tell you, we've tonnes of things haven't been done together yet and i've so much more love haven't been expressed to you yet too baby... I love you for real baby, please forget of the past and let us start all over again! You've shine me in my life, i don't wanna lose someone we both know having "you love me and i love you for real..", we must keep to our words.. I kept to my words, and i'm also changing to be a better person for you baby!



It was written on somewhere for me on the 1st October 2006, do you remember this? I will nver forget this post you wrote to me! You ONLY wanted my LOVE, i'm going to tell you, you'd ALL my LOVE already baby...i've kept things well in good condition and i still have this with me, you claimed you eventually found "the person" you always wanted, which is ME. Right till today, i love and i definitely still care for each and everything of you baby, I'm definitely the person you'd always wanted, and i'll change my bad habits for a better times together.. Don't go baby, please don't go, don't leave me here all alone in my days and nights without you but just tears, i don't want to live without you baby.. :'( a night that matches my feelings, raining heavily now!~ goodnight everyone...


????? - Wang Lee Hom
This song comes in a very deep truth meaning to me, because of you, i never knew this song, because of you, i'll never fall for you so much deeply, because you dedicated this to me, i promised, i'll always love you and today, i promised, for whatever that we've lost, we'll find it back and i'll never gonna hurt you like those days anymore! For you, i'll never give up in this magnificent relationship and times i have with you...i'll just have you only baby...Love ya...

-[aLbY]-
Day 28


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

='(


**This is just a random song which i love since years back only...**

:'( the most wonderful times i'd was having you loving me...i need you so much! Where are you now baby?! Where are you? :'( i'm missing you so much!!

-[aLbY]-

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Tears.






Exclusively dedicated for you..

p/s: "I do not want to waste any chances or time available as i'm fortunate to have you in my life, you will always be, and i always will love you as how we were used to be the sweetest couple ever...I LOVE you sincerely baby.."

-[aLbY]-

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Shower me with your love.



Depression. It really kills me and the pain is really pain into the heart. What happened these days? I encountered people telling me there're hypocrites in my surrounding/around me. Why? What have i done to "you people"? Have i ever touched any single thing of your life? NEVER! The worst was saying that i'm being disloyal or a worst word to say, i betrayed and scandal around and also accusing me that i've been hiding the truth that i used to be with somebody i'm close with for sometime? Are you people having mental disorder? Why are you all making my life way much more miserable? :'( *tears drip while confessing* WTF HAVE I DONE TO YOU GUYS AND WHY SHOULD YOU PEOPLE GAVE ME A FUCK UP LIFE? I'm losing trust within the people in my surrounding! The people i trust and love most has always been with me eventhough if there were hypocrites or we'll ignore them together, but i don't have it now, :'(, all i need is your love baby! I've never been this "betrayed" before, i couldn't take it! Who shall i trust? Who shall i share it with? :'( ONLY you....i'm ain't a fucking bastard, i'm ain't like those fucking asshole who spreads the fucking rumours around kind of person! I neither have the time with these fuckers! Why are you fuckers giving me such a miserable life?! I've done nothing...............nothing...............of those before!!!~



My dad had a talk with me earlier, it was random, but at least they knew no matter what i do, i'll never overboard or even won't turned to be how bad as i was accused to be! You're the one i love most, and also the who suppose to know me most too, i've never been filled with so much of love before, that only happen to be YOU who had been giving it to me baby! It's your love, everything that you gave me is what i wanted....i know i may not be your Mr.Perfect baby, but i'll really improvised myself to be a better person! What's really true i've never been fake, cheating on you or lied before!! :'( i've never even have any thought of taking ANY advantage on my love ones before, and it'll never happen on you too! I'd really been serious and true to you..

Your grasp in my hand fills me most with love, you made me feel most and the safest to be with baby..please trust me, i'm never gonna hurt you like those days anymore! I've learn my lesson sufficiently, i don't need anymore lesson to experience, what i've been saying is been true to you, and it isn't a single word is a lie too! I miss you so much, i miss you like crazy, i miss you grasping my hand too baby... :'( i really had never lied or anything that shows i dis-love you before..

-[aLbY]-

Thursday, March 12, 2009

For once in my life.




For Once In My Life - Michael Buble



For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me
Someone I've needed so long
For once unafraid
I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I'll be strong
For once I can touch
What my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew
Someone warm like you
Could make my dream come true
For once in my life
I won't let sorrow hurt me
Not like it's hurt me before
For once I have someone
I know won't desert me
I'm not alone anymore
For once I can say
This is mine, you can't take it
As long as I know I've got love
I can make it
For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me

p/s: "For once in my life, you've given what's best to me in my life, brighten up my life too. I'll never let you go, as i know i'm an imperfect person, but at least i've a heart that loving you faithfully and truthfully! For once in my life, i ever heard from my beloved of all those i've been thru with says 'needed me' or 'i couldn't smile without you'. I (heart) you baby, i've never had this feeling of loving ones by giving everything. I may be stupid at times, but i'll correct myself to the Alby you used to know, he's not dead! If i were to cheated on you, i wouldn't be loving you so much and not letting you go...i know i've disappointed and hurt you before, for once, if you really love me (since before), we will still get things back and better than before too...for you, for once in my life, i love you very much only, we will settle down things together happily..."

Love,
-[bEE]-

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why I love you so much.

For you,






Baby, no one else i would love so much as much as i love you! And no one would love me as how you love me that changes my everything in life. Please, forget the past, let's start all over again and make it better than last time as you claimed...you won't lie, and you'll keep your words to me!!~ :'( i miss you so much baby........

-[aLbY]-

Monday, March 09, 2009

Today, nevertheless, I still love you.





It's till today, i still love you as much as how i used to. You hold my breath, you hold my soul, you hold my life..it was as though it just happened yesterday or the day before, but nevertheless, it has been for years. No matter what i've done for you, i've always been using my heart to succeed for you. I may have done something which had hurt you in the previous time, but i've learned my lesson well, truthfully, i'll never do that to you anymore, today, and even the future. I'm sorry for what happened last year, i admitted it was all my wrong that made you went "lost". Baby, if you were thinking that "i don't love you", "i don't appreciate you", "i'm not serious to you" or "i'm being cold to you", those were what thought, in fact, the truth, i took you seriously yet been appreciating every single moment being with you, neither had been cold to you before as i've been opening all my heart to have you loving me back. I'm sorry of my arrogance on certain issue, i'm sorry of my defensive arguments towards certain issue, i'm sorry for what made you been "assuming" i wasn't true to you...

Every single moment, single words and single things you've done for me, i remembered them very very carefully. From the moment we were together, i've taken you as part of my life whose walking on the journey together encountering the obstacles we've been going through, staying strong overcoming it. I've always wanted to "settled down" things with you...i've never been fake to you before too! Would we be together this long, if i were being fake to you from the beginning? No, and NEVER, i've always been true to you. Each and everything you told me from day 1 we met, i've been remembering it yet i knew it was "childish" of myself thinking some fairytales between us. But indeed, it was all as thou fairytales before, i love you for what and who you are...just as what most people thought in mind but i know many will be thinking including you will assume, "don't dream of it". I ain't dreaming, but from when we knew each other, everything had became true and there was where love developed from then onwards. By referring to the most recent case, Rihanna was assaulted by her boyfriend, Chris Brown, and then Chris Brown was charged to be in prison for 9years for what he'd done on Rihanna, but what's next? Rihanna love Chris Brown very much, they were married last saturday at Miami at P.Diddy's mansion. Chris Brown apologized, begged for forgiveness and proposed to her, eventually Rihanna was surprised of the sudden action by Chris Brown and have agreed yet confessed 'I can't live without you'. Baby, i knew i've done something that hurt you so badly before, but i've changed, in terms, i won't be doing that anymore, i promised! I'll never break this promise i made because you're what's most important to me in my life. I know i'm ain't a Mr. 100% Perfect, but i've really been working it out with my weaknesses. All i need is you to forgive me of what i've done before, you've gave me a great "lesson" before this, and i've really learned from my mistake today. I'm very sorry baby...please forgive me, i'm really intended to be with you to settle down to be your man. I've always been faithful towards this relationship and you, i'm only seeking for your true forgiveness to settle things down together...i wouldn't have high expectation as how Rihanna couple have, but i only require you to forgive, and to love and trust me like how you used to...i was the Alby you used to know, yet i'm still the Alby you used to know, who's so much loving you to accept who he is for a better times together as you've said to me you wanted the both of us to forget and forgive the past, then to get things back becoming even better than before..

Your words, your actions towards me are most influential to me, i've never forget a single thing of you, even whatever things we've been through all these years...baby, i wouldn't deny anything from you, but i only wanted you know to stop thinking of the negative thought in your mind, but you're whom i met that i never thought we could flourish our relationship till the extend me too don't wanna live without you! You were the one who shine me in the night even when there's no stars or sun, you were still the one i most wanted to be with...


'I am always your honey bee, and you're always my beloved on the plane...'

p/s: "Love you till the bottom of my heart..."

-bEE-




Saturday, March 07, 2009

Truth.

I'm depressed. I do not know why and how, but the truth is i've never don't appreciate neither don't take one relationship seriously. It's been this long, i'm still being thought as a person who don't appreciate my beloved kind of person. How much have we been through, how much am i been trying to get your heart back, you've seen it. I admitted my mistakes which i lied and hurt you about the incident last year, yet that have taught me a huge lesson in life. Then onwards, i've never ever going to think about that incident anymore. After that long time of break, we got back, things been coping up, on and off, it broken down cause of misunderstandings at times. I've been true and appreciating you all this while since we got back! I don't fake, i'm ain't a pretender, neither a would be fake to you. I love you till the bottom of my heart, i will never deny i've been cold nor reluctant to you before too, you may be sensitive over it, but i've been true, i swear, and i did promised you that I'll never gonna hurt you anymore, i really didn't been cold or reluctant to you before. The lied i made last year, was my mistake, but ever since then, i've been true to you. I may be slow, i may not be that spontaneous, but i've been having a dull life without you for SIX MONTHS last year, i slowed everything down in my life, i became indecisive, i became slower in thinking, i became someone who's not really myself. I'm seeking for infinity of apologies, i'm not blaming you at all, but i just need your patience and love for me to recover from the SIX MONTHS of loneliness and dull life without you. The biggest mistake i've done had changed myself to someone i felt fed up of too. I knew you'll have a lot of doubts, a lot of questions, a lot of queries in your mind that "does Alby love me?", "do you appreciate me?", "have you been serious to me?", "do you take me as your lover?" etc..

ONE word for all the questions above, YES, i've always been appreciating you, i've always been serious towards the relationship (unlike those days anymore because i've learned my lessons), i've always been taking you not just a lover but even my life partner and for a definite answer, i definitely love you with all my heart yet till the bottom of my heart baby! You've got me wrong all this while, you've thought of me wrongly that i'm ain't like the fuckers or the bastards you've been thru with before. You can assume i am the same as them but i never lied to myself or even to you that i don't love you as you think, in fact, I LOVE YOU very very much deeply baby! The mistakes i've done, i've never deny before, and i've been doing all my best to give you the best from me. You've been mis-seeing me that's why you thought so. There's nothing i want from you EXCEPT you, your love and your trust! My love for you NEVER fade off before, i didn't treated you cold too but you had assume too much these days. I'm still the same Alby you used to know, i've never had a change of heart nor a change of feelings on you before. I may be blur and slow at times, yet i've been coping to change this attitude too! You're whom i gave everything to, you're whom i love most, you're whom i wants to live with...you're definitely not as what you thought i don't love, don't care, don't take it serious or don't appreciate you at all! I'm never that person towards you because i was the one who had been saving the relationship, the person who loves you won't tried saving the relationship so many times if they don't love you truthfully baby...and i love you truthfully yet sincerely! :'( what i said that what i've been doing for you was just to make you love me even more back baby......i'd it all written in all the hand made cards i made exclusively for you and they're all true words from my heart to you..please don't go baby!!~ bEe loves you for real from day 1 right up till today......

-[aLbY]-

Thursday, March 05, 2009

I'm Yours.






p/s: "You wouldn't know but i'm gonna tell you and let you know that, I'm yours...

-[aLbY]-

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

To be here with you.



A long day, and night, whatever that i've been doing and done is just to be with you, to be here with you. Everyday and night, i've been thinking of you, just to be with you by never letting you go. Where are you for the day? Where are you for the night? :'( i've been searching for you, but where were you baby???

-[aLbY]-

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Keep holding on, With you.



You're never alone because i've always been with you, keep holding on and never give up easily ESPECIALLY towards "us" because i know we'll make it through...



With you, no one else i would go or even think of, but only you! You make me fall in love with you, you're whom i want to be with, and that's YOU baby! I don't want anybody else but just you...and that's why i dedicated this for you tonight! :'( *miss ya*

Goodnight readers...






-[aLbY]-

Monday, March 02, 2009

Because of you, My life would suck without you, Let's make it work.



Because of you,...i found this guy singing Ne-yo's, Because of you, and he has a great voice! I'm so in love the way he sings it!



Many people said that this isn't a nice song to listen, but it has a great meaning behind it too..


NEYO - MAKE IT WORK - NEYO

If we wanted things to be well within us, we gotta work things out "together". I don't walk alone, you've been walking it with me, but don't make it like now, leaving it unsolve. i'll wait in time, for you to let go the past because i love you very much, i will be a better man, for you baby...i'd accepted whom you are to work things out all these years, i only requesting if you really love me too, work it out with me and accept me for who i am. Just for you to know, all this while, i really love you and accepted who you are, and most importantly, i wanna make things work between you and me, not anyone else baby...

-[aLbY]-

Sunday, March 01, 2009

null.

I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't sit, I can't stop thinking, and I can't do anything at all to hold you back. I'm so suffocating. I'm so depressed, everyday and night. Why i can never hold you, i can never make you hold me back no matter what i've been doing for you? :'( i misses you every day and night and been thinking of you 24/7! WHY??? :'( am i really as what you had in mind, a not worth to be loved person and don't deserved such people like me? I'm a such an asshole.. :'( i love you so much, i seriously love you so much yet had given everything for you, why can't i still hold you back? I just wanted you to love me back, i've got nothing extra to request from you, yet i've been doing my part, though it isn't perfect, but why did you hate me so much, why don't you love me anymore, why can't i just have you and your love only? :'( i'm only an ordinary person like anyone else, i just wanted to have an ordinary life with you... why should i be compare? Do u know i've put in everything into you,....and if you leave, you shall take my breathe away too cause i don't wanna live with such pain, i don't wanna live without you baby.. :'( why even the one who loves me still don't think i'm true at all?

-[aLbY]-

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Expression...





Today i went out for lunch with a few friends, after that we went for movie, 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons.' Indeed, i would recommend to watch this movie, it's greatly produced with very good graphics! Very good storyline yet a very touching loving movie. Everybody wanted to have a relationship as though like how Benjamin and Daisy had in the movie, including myself. There were many scenes that reflected to myself! Tears dripping again...

To me, Benjamin is an unfortunate born child. He was born with a life the other way round, from old to young, he was born with a very ugly face which will scare most people away, thank God sent him a saviour, Queenie@Mama, the mother when his real parents left him. Queenie loves Benjamin very much as if her own born child. Benjamin have been living in the Old Folk Homes together with Queenie for 17years, then he left to see the world. Benjamin had a very unlucky life, a normal human being will grew up with happiness from young to old, die when they're really old but he's different, he watches everybody whom he loves, whom he knows dies one by one...both Benjamin and Daisy are so much in love with each other! They had their greatest moment together! They almost had everything, but sad to say Benjamin has an extraordinary life, so he chose to leave, as time passes, years goes on, he became from old to young, to even younger and died as the youngest when he'd became a baby! Benjamin dies with a diary left for Daisy...which he'd stated every single moment of his life since he was born till the day he last remember things in his life for Daisy and the daughter. Throughout the whole movie, it was between the daughter and ill mother, Daisy who'd already admitted in the hospital, close to her last moment, but she wanted the daughter whose name is named on behalf Daisy's mother, Caroline. Daisy asked Caroline to read out loud what was stated in the diary before she's leaving...by the end of the story, Caroline only realized her real dad was Benjamin Buttons. Sigh...

Well, that was a brief summary of Benjamin Button's life. I will relate it to myself for now. My life isn't the same as Benjamin's of course, i have a way much better and fortunate life than he does. What i'm implying here is that Daisy says to Benjamin, "...nothing is worth more than having you in my life...". I believe that true love does really exist, i do not mean the ending of Benjamin and Daisy, but what i meant was their times when they were together, no matter how much they've been through, they both still love each other and got back to each other. We're so much more fortunate than the both of them, they do not have a choice because Benjamin has an extraordinary life, we don't, we're way much better! I love you as much as how much Benjamin loves Daisy, i do not wanna lose you for nothing in the end. I do mean what i said to you that "nothing is worth more than having you in my life", which means you mean "everything" to my life. At this point of time, everyone including you may be thinking that Alby is bullshitting, but how much can i bullshit that what i've done in last year, i did waited for you in the end because i mean my words, "i'll never gonna let you go, because i love you with everything baby." I mean it. I want to watch the sunrise and sunset with you like how Benjamin and Daisy did, i'm ain't in a fairytale or dream, but what i meant is what we can do in real. I knew there were loads of the bad past that kept haunting you from trusting me or getting "real" to me, imagine what and how have you been treating throughout the times since after my birthday. You love me, you misses me, you cared for me, and you were still the you i knew, not till more misunderstanding and problem between us which we couldn't justify and sort it together, things just got worst again only.

Imagine the time you said you love, imagine the time you said you misses me, imagine the moments we were together on the "big day". I've always been appreciating you ever since the last time i made my mistake, i wouldn't expect you too much to totally forget about it, but at least try to let it go slowly and keep the finger cross to yourself, Alby can still be counted on and loved. If i'm not worth you loving, why would you give me 'that'? I know u have been thinking that i don't appreciate you in the previous, and i may do the same thing to you again, baby, you hold my breath, i gave you everything, i knew my mistakes, i changed from bad to good, yet to gain everything we've lost in the last time. I do not wanna have regrets, i even don't hope you would have hatred in me. Look in your surrounding now baby, i'm everywhere in your space because we develop everything together right up till today, that's why i'm still here writing this for you. I wanna settle things down with you, we need to solve the problems we had, nothing can't be solved if you have the heart to solve. Every time i uses "we", "us", "together" was because i love you and we're together. We always have a goal and wish to become true, it's to get all the unhappy away and replace everything back like those days, all the happiness back! I don't need anything except you. I claimed that. What others said about us, i don't give a f*ck, yet they were just jealous and envy they couldn't be like us. There're loads of things we haven't done it together yet, i do not wanna waste any much more time as those days, but to show and proof you that i've really been appreciating each and every single thing you've done for/to me. If i didn't love you truely, this wouldn't happen, it will never happen, or i'll never suffocate missing you so badly baby. I knew you're tired and sick of many things, i will give you time to cool down, i won't leave you, and i know it may be sounded a little too demanding. In fact, i would just want you to "get" the real me that i'm really treating you with the heart. Relax yourself and your mind for the meantime i hoped you could try letting go of the past, i know its very difficult, for the things we've developed together, i've nothing to request, but plain you let go of the past and really forgive me, i know the truth that you still love me, thou its lesser or even lesser, i don't mind as long as we managed to justify and clear the problems we've been having, everything would be better for a better tomorrow....

Baby, listen, i didn't lie, i didn't pretend or fake, nor hide anything behind you. I've been treating you sincerely and even more true that anything else today. I know there are many whose discouraging you to forget about me now, but you know me best, if i didn't mean anything/anyone to you, you wouldn't love me, and i wouldn't love you this badly too. I will wait for you, i mean my words to you, i wouldn't abandon you at all! I just want to proof, i love you more than anything else, and it worth more than anything too baby... I miss you!!

I'm going back to busy life again shortly, 1st day of level 3, first semester @ 10am! Wish me luck...

-[aLbY]-




Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I can't let it go, because Love takes time to develop.



I can't let it go, it's been a whole day i was alone at home, depressing all by myself tearsing. Eyes are swollen, yet super tired. You asked me to let it go, but i don't want, you insisting to force me to let you go, i admitted i can't, and i mean i can't let you go AT ALL! I know there were things happened in the past which made another felt afraid to trust and be with this person back, but seeing i've been trying to do something back for you all this while to it back, why? Why isn't it enough? And you didn't want to talk through it along together. Let you go, it seems of cutting my throat to stop breathing. It sounded dramatic, but to justify and clarify what's true from the bottom of my heart, indeed, i love you for everything! I've given everything including myself, and you'd became part of my life! Ya everyone will be thinking that am i bullshitting or lying here, well, people who knows me well enough could proof who "this person" i couldn't let go are to me. Baby, i can't let you go... :'(



I know there are many things that you couldn't forget or forgive, including the so much of love that we used to had is even lost today, how long have we been together? I'll change if its not working, i even willing to do anything and everything for you for the sake of getting things worked back! :'( love takes time to develop, how did we developed everything in those days takes time too, and i've been readied to give you a lifetime to develop whatever we've lost in the previous! I love you truely, and i'm really learning to treat you better in time! Everything that i'm learning is to proof you i really love you, it isn't just the feeling, i'm gonna make you understand that i'm not just expressing for the sake of saying, but i'm also gonna work things out by my capability. I've made my words to you that i'm gonna get what we've lost back, our happiness, then settle down together! I won't give up, i never give up, and this is what i've left most worthy now! I know i can't help to do anything now, and i know you're feeling that i'm so annoying to you and your life, you wanted peaceful without me! :'( indeed, it's painful yet suffocating to me, i've done it in 2008 before, i'm willing to do it another time for THE ONE i love, that i always been loving you WITHOUT abandoning or won't don't appreciate you like last time! I'm not a stupid freak who don't have feelings, yet i've a very weak and soft-heart which i've learnt from my past mistakes, i'll never gonna repeat what i did in the past to u! Even if it takes a long time for u to forgive me, i'll always be waiting for you! I know it's a very stupid thing or probably useless thing to do, for love, for what i've been doing for you, for everything that we've been through all this time, for my sincerity and my heart that had never stopped loving you yet in this deep, i'll wait for you to forgive me! Love you my dearest......

I admitted the pain is an infinite pain which cant be described, having this hard time, i really wished it not to happen again in 2009 as i prayed and wished hard for a better year for "us", but.... I'm a super-depress-freak again..but for 'you', u know i nevermind as long as you forgive me and really get me that i may not know how to express my concern at times, in fact, i cared a lot about you deep in myself. I didn't lie and i dare not to lie anymore too, it had became a nightmare to me before, and i've learnt alot from there, i will never let that happen too! :'( i knew that u still love me......, but i couldn't do anything to get near you as you're feeling irritated on me! Maybe i shall really let you relax your mind by not bothering u, or maybe...i don't know! I really miss you so much, i miss your hugs so much! :'( goodnight people...

-[aLbY]-

Monday, February 23, 2009

Love story.


Love Story - Mariah Carey

Its been another month since the last 23rd past, i recalled i just finished my exam that time and CNY was 2days after that! Tonight i'm at home, depressing by myself, don't wanna go anywhere else. WHY? WHY? Why can't i have you by my side tonight?! WHY NOT! I'm so depress yet tears dripping writing this post, i miss you!! I'm so much suffocating by myself now because of missing you!! :'( WHERE ARE YOU?! DO YOU KNOW I NEED YOU!! :'( I'M ALONE AGAIN and its been many weekends I've been alone too! Why does it has to be like last year again!!!!!! I HATE LAST YEAR! I DON'T WANT IT TO BE LIKE LAST YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SO SUFFOCATING!~ How can i make you love me back like how i do baby??!! :'( do you know how much i love you and misses you????

-[aLbY]-

Sunday, February 22, 2009

EVERYTHING.




EVERYTHING - 王力宏Wang Lee Hom

When i said you're my everything, you're my everything, not nothing.... :'(

-[aLbY]-

Friday, February 20, 2009

Heineken's love life.




Footprints In The Sand - Leona Lewis

Do you know I've had teary-eyes wherever i go? Do you know that the tears are throughout all from the heart and it's so painful when it tears? :'( You dedicated this song to me, but where are you? Where are you baby? :'( You're not here, but you are somewhere!? Take your deep breath there, and think over and over again, am i still in your heart? Will you wanna give me THAT back in hand? :'( you'll have me suffocate if you flew off without coming back baby....

-[aLbY]-

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Suffocating.

It's so suffocating! :'( the feeling is hurting into my nerves so badly, my chest ache terribly, my bones are pain, the heart went missing. Tears flow all night long staring at it! They said i'm not good enough for you, you said you never bother what they said what they do but.... :'( what if i won't be around anymore, the pain won't be this suffocating...you don't let me think of you, you don't let me hold you too because you said you need freedom to fly off for a moment, but will you fly back to tell the owner lets fly together because the world is so beautiful yet you wanted to enjoy it together? Will you...??

-[aLbY]-

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Heineken Depresses.















-[aLbY]-

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What can I do?

Lately i've kept so much things to myself, knowing there're alot to talk about but no one would wanna listen to it. What can i do? Sigh....class is about to start soon, 26/2, but that's only orientation! Actual class should be the following week! So many things changed in 2009, from good to all bad.. *tears* What a sad Alby.....

-[aLbY]-

Mr. Nobody


They all call me Mr. Nobody...

-[aLbY]-

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Thursday, February 12, 2009

This 2 song . . .

I've been awake since it was 8am, my bro was even preparing to work that time, i pretended as though i'm not awake, then when he left, i couldn't sleep at all but plain resting my eyes! I can't don't think about it, and i can't take it again! :'(




Thinking Of You

"Thinking Of You" by Katy Perry



"Love Story" by Taylor Swift

-[aLbY]-

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

RIHANNA CONCERT POSTPONED!










This is so fuckup now! Rihanna concert is POSTPONED! CHECK THIS OUT I really hate it so much, it happened at the wrong time and I'm feeling NOTHING! EVERYTHING means ZERO to me. I mean NOTHING to everyone! :'(



-[aLbY]-

Empty souls . . .

Inside me, has a lot of things to say it out but i don't think it's necessary to spill it out here. Blog won't help in relieving things i want to relief at times. I felt so depress since CNY till today! The feeling has been so dead which i felt so empty inside myself. I HATE HOW IT FEELS and I HATE MYSELF TOO!

-[aLbY]-