Sorry for the delay...

Blog Blog Blog....sorry for the delay of my own 21st birthday party post! I'm superb busy now, assignment due from 28/7/08 (my birthday is on the 27/7/08 and party is on 26/7/08) till 8/8/08!!! OM*G!!!!!! Hated it! I've briefing for the coming TechEd 2008 job on mid August, 2weeks before my exam! MY GOODNESS.....i'll post it ASAP after my assignments are done this week aight! Stay tune on http://alby27.blogspot.com! Oh yea, ermm....it jz came across my mind, its after so long and over my 21st birthday, should i close my blog or not? Leave me a comment everybody! Thanks to those who celebrated my 21st birthday and those who attended, helped as well as was with me on that night! :D special thanks to all my buddies who'd helped me so much for cleaning the place and decorating it too! Love u guys! So...i gotta pen-off now, assignment, but i'm going off to sleep now! At kopitiam! hahah sad right? phone line BREAKDOWN again! Sigh....f*cking TM, u're gonna get it tomorrow! Nitez.... love u people loads...

Love,
-[aLbY]-

You're my everything . . .

Few more days only.....
Only 1 line: You're my everything, you're only what i wish for and want to be with..

p/s: I only wanna love you baby..

Love,
-[aLbY]- @ -154-

A Story of "U & ME" [23-07-2008]

On one of the most meaningful yet unforgettable day, this is when our story begin, "U & ME". There's no need to say it out, only "U & ME" know what the story is...i love you baby...& i miss you so badly!~



I've a dedication for you baby...
Listen...with the lyrics, its all i meant by "I Love You" and i wanted to have a new start with you, just as how we used to love each other so badly...

Mariah Carey Lyrics
Love Story Lyrics

p/s: Just "U & ME"...Happy 2nd Year Anniversary to you! Baby, I'll always love you..

-[aLbY]- @ -152-

The Lake House

-Day 150-

When love comes to it's limits...
The person will tell that person that you love him or her...
If I'll be the one saying it to you....
If I say I love You very much right up till today....
What will be your answer...
Will my feelings be the same as yours?

Do u still remember this movie; The Lake House? Never know that time flies, this is our very first romance movie watched in 2006. Its been 2years today, still remember the story line? Still remember our line? Heh, we've said it before, "not gonna leave each other" before. Maybe i sounded naive to everyone, but btw u and me, u know what's going on, u can feel it, i can feel it too. What's more than my sincerity and loyalty towards u today? 6months, officially the 6th month since that day...do u know that i still misses u so badly? Do u know that i still love u? "Persuasion", the book in The Lake House, it's about waiting...2person met, almost fall in love but the timing isn't right, but after a few years later, they met and they have another chance. Its been 6months, i've been trying all ways to us back together. I do not mind anything or anyone, but because i know this is ONLY what we both know that we still love each other, hence, i'm still keeping this up without giving up before. 6months, its been 150days i've waited for u to forgive and accept me back. I understand your feeling of fear being hurt again, and your disappointment. After this 6months long, i've corrected my mistakes, i've told myself that i wouldn't repeat the mistake anymore. Im doing this because of you, because i know you love me lots, thats why im doing anything, everything to get us back.




I'm dedicating this song for u baby, the original song track of The Lake House...


I love you baby, i really love you! I've never taken u for granted nor fooled u before! Im definitely unlike others, im only requesting for the last chance from you baby, would u let me take good care of u and love u back like how i used to? I've lost u for 6months, i dont want to lose u any longer anymore. Im saying this for the sake that i love u too much deeply and not gonna let u go. I know u still love me too! Im appreciating whatever chances and opportunity i have before its too late when i've lost all of u, even if it's a little bit of feelings left, im still willing to gain everything back cause i know u couldn't forget me just like that. I'll keep my words for u, i'll love u even more, and gonna take very good care of u like how i used to baby. Its for the one and only that i love, which is you....

p/s: "If i were given another chance, i hoped that we could watch this movie together again..., can we?"

-[aLbY]- @ -150-

Let's start from here . . .

Joanna Wang - Let's Start From Here

Giving up, why should I
we've come too far to forget
beautiful
just got lost somewhere along the way
so much was missing when you went away

Let's start from here
lose the past
change our minds
we don't need a finish line
let's take this chance
don't think too deep
all those promises we couldn't seem to keep
I don't care where we go
let's start from here

Standing here
face to face
a finger on your lips
don't say a word
don't make a sound
silence surrounds us now
even when you were gone I felt you everywhere

Let's start from here
lose the past
change our minds
we don't need a finish line
let's take this chance
don't think too deep
all those promises we couldn't seem to keep
I don't care where we go
let's start from here
let's start from here

I've never been the one to open up
but you've always been the voive within
the only one for my cold heart

Let's start from here
lose the past change our minds
we don't need a finish line
let's take this chance
don't think too deep
and all those promises
let's start from here
lose the past
change our minds
we don't need a finish line
let's take this chance
not think too deep
and all those promises we couldn't seem to keep
I don't care where we go

Let's start from here...

Baby, i'm always the same old Alby even right up till today. I want u to know, i've never changed before, i promise i'll never gonna lie and betray u anymore! I would want to request, to take good care and love u back baby...i'll keep to my words, and u'll never will make the wrong decision too baby! I really love u till the bottom of my heart...

I'm missing u badly, loving u more than anything everyday baby...please forgive me and allow us to get back together!!~ I love u, and i want to love u as how Alby used to... *tears*

-[aLbY]- @ -148-

I just can't stop loving you!

Baby, do u still remember this portrait? It was taken during one of our outing with my friends! I miss that moment so much! I miss u so much! Tonight i'm posting "I just can't stop loving you" for u in conjunction of another week would be someday we know what day it is. I love u, i love u till the bottom of my heart! No one understands how i feel, but...only u do, thou u dont care, but i know u still do! I need u, i'm so in need of your T.L.C at this stressful time! I needed u to be by my side, can u please? I wanted to have the best 1st best day of my life with u on "our day". I misses the days we were together, i misses holding ur hands while driving, i misses u sitting next to me, i misses hugging and *kisses* before i dropped u back, i misses the WHOLE of u baby! *tears* I just can't stop loving u baby, u know i can't, and i know u can't too. Allow me to be back by your side please...i wouldn't hurt u anymore! I keep my words for u...

Here's a video of Michael Jackson in "I just can't stop loving you" song, dedicated for his beloved wife... I'll now dedicate this to u my love, u're always the one and only that i love...

I Just Want To Lay Next To You
For Awhile
You Look So Beautiful Tonight
Your Eyes Are So Lovely
Your Mouth Is So Sweet
A Lot Of People
Misunderstand Me
That's Because They Don't
Know Me At All
I Just Want To Touch You
And Hold You
I Need You
God I Need You
I Love You So Much

[Michael]
Each Time The Wind Blows
I Hear Your Voice So
I Call Your Name . . .
Whispers At Morning
Our Love Is Dawning
Heaven's Glad You Came . . .

You Know How I Feel
This Thing Can't Go Wrong
I'm So Proud To Say
I Love You
Your Love's Got Me High
I Long To Get By
This Time Is Forever
Love Is The Answer

[Siedah]
I Hear Your Voice Now
You Are My Choice Now
The Love You Bring
Heaven's In My Heart
At Your Call
I Hear Harps,
And Angels Sing

You Know How I Feel
This Thing Can't Go Wrong
I Can't Live My Life
Without You

[Michael]
I Just Can't Hold On

[Siedah]
I Feel We Belong

[Michael]
My Life Ain't Worth Living
If I Can't Be With You

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
And If I Stop . . .
Then Tell Me Just What
Will I Do

[Siedah]
'Cause I Just Can't Stop
Loving You

[Michael]
At Night When The
Stars Shine
I Pray In You I'll Find
A Love So True . . .

[Siedah]
When Morning Awakes Me
Will You Come And Take Me
I'll Wait For You

[Michael]
You Know How I Feel
I Won't Stop Until
I Hear Your Voice Saying
"I Do"

[Siedah]
"I Do"
This Thing Can't Go Wrong

[Michael]
This Feeling's So Strong

[Siedah]
Well, My Life Ain't
Worth Living

[Both]
If I Can't Be With You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
And If I Stop . . .
Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do

[Michael]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Siedah]
We Can Change All The World
Tomorrow

[Michael]
We Can Sing Songs Of
Yesterday

[Siedah]
I Can Say, Hey . . .Farewell
To Sorrow

[Michael]
This Is My Life And I,

[Both]
Want To See You For Always
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Siedah]
No, Baby

[Michael]
Oh!

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Siedah]
If I Can't Stop!

[Both]
And If I Stop . . .

[Siedah]
No

[Michael]
Oh! Oh! Oh . . .Oh . . .

[Siedah]
What Will I Do? Uh . . .Ooh . . .
(Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do)

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Michael]
Hee! Hee! Hee! Know I Do
Girl!

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Michael]
You Know I Do
And If I Stop . . .

[Both]
Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

p/s: "I just can't stop loving you, baby...."






-[aLbY]- @ -146-

R.I.P

I feel like dying, please! :'( i'm so stressed and derpess! I need T.L.C! :'( i'm sick, stress, pressure, tonnes of work to do, i'm feeling i've not much time left for everything! I'm such a.....pathetic sicko! END EVERYONE...i need.........you so much! :(

-[aLbY]- @ -137-

I'm a liar . . . but . . .

My love, I love you...

Although it's been for sometime, yea, i admitted i did pretended as if nothing anymore but the limit had reached, i can't pretend anymore, it's hurting very much! I admitted i'm a liar, i'm a great liar, i stopped talking to u, stopped talking to u, stopped pestering u, it doesnt mean i'm giving up onto u although u insisted, but the truth is that i still love u so much. Yes, i'm stupid, i'm dumb, but there's nothing i can do with it as it's where we develop all by ourselves. If u really mean nothing to me, i would have live happily as if nothing had happened before jz like how a car passes by u by the roadside. I rather drive on and off passing by u, each and everytime, everyday and night, cause i want to see u, i love to see u and whats most importantly, i love u deeply with all my heart. "Alby, try to let it go..", i did, but it failed coz i know no matter what, only u will come back to me in the picture in my mind, no one else even if there're many better ones outside. What's this all about? Stupidity? Sticky? Useless? Restless? Dumb? Or isit really what everyone has been saying, 'true love', which everyone claims it NEVER EXIST. Its true that after so long, i may be the only one who's still waiting for nothing, doing things whereby everyone consider its useless, but to me, whatever it takes for me to get u back, is a bit to bit effort to get closer to u back, as before...or maybe not, i'm never a decision maker in this case.

I miss u, i misses u so much, but everyone ask me over and over again, "Alby, is that worth?", without thinking twice i answered, "YES!" i said it as if it's really true which i'm still believing in "love" existing. Although it has been for sometime we're apart, but, i've never thought of leaving u before...it hurts the most, when u knew i lied, that i was fine, in fact, i wasn't....your concern is always what i prioritized! Does it sounded more likely i'm bullshitting? Ok, i never had the intention to, afterall, u know me best, if i really did it intentionally, u would've being cheated for long...and hurt deeply more than this, but the truth i didnt. Knowing it is useless to explain over and over again, this is what i'm writing to express my feelings, not to u, coz u felt i'm annoying, u felt i'm fooling u, but eventually, no one could help me to make u understand my intention loving u so much, waiting for u to love me back where u'd been afraid of me now...

David, my besties, he'd departed last 2days to overseas for his further studies for 2yrs from now onwards, indeed, i misses him very much, he is my besties which i'll never forget! Knowing him for more than 10yrs since primary, seeing the both of us changes from a huge size body to what we are today, seeing us growing with partners...seeing the changes in us each and every year, yet what is not changed is our besties friendship which never ends. I'm grateful and thankful to have a friend like him as he accompany me most the time when i really needed a shoulder, not fussy of any decision amde (although there are but we could still accomodate at times), not calculative nor revengeful, but simplicity the bestest buddy i ever had in my life. A day before he left, we went out for a drink, we talked alot, then he said to buy me a birthday present, i've got a shoe i wanted the next day which is the same day he's leaving, i wore that to the airport to show him. He said that it suits me and it looks good on me! He's often being straight forward to me, i nevermind any comment he made to me before. His friends, gf, family and relatives were there along at the airport, i was helping to take photographs with his and his bro's DSLR camera. That's all i can do for him. Before he left, Zoe, the gf, actually cried out loud for his departing, i was feeling touched, eyes turned red, but i was standing a side from them. I feel for her, but i told myself not to tears coz i do not want him to know that i'll miss his absence in my future days for 2yrs.

As time goes by, i started realizing people in my surrouding are leaving me one bye one, as if my skin was pilling off, bit by bit. My friends, my relatives and the "special someone i live the happiest and i love most"...i'm feeling restless, i needed the "someone" by my side now, i'm very depress and stress. I need "u" by my side, i need "ur" concern, i need "ur" presence in my life, i need "ur" love...there's no one i wanted anymore. I started realizing, i'm spoiling myself, my health, my studies as well as my everything! I dont know why, my account is almost depleted, the resources i have is limited, myself is somewhere i dont know where it'd been to...i'm losing something very precious, Alby! He's lost, so lost till things started changing!~ Love isn't everything, but the love i got, gives me everything i want...only u know what i mean if u remember i'd asked, "please don't leave me...baby!"

Yesterday i went pass somewhere kL, i remembered there was once i was working at a restaurant for L'Occitane annual dinner, u dropped me there and pick me back after work...many minor things i remembered, maybe u dont, or forgotten, or maybe u did remember every single thing which u're trying hard to forget, forget and let go me as hard as u're trying to achieve what u want! *heartbreaks* Whatever, where ever, whenever, however and whichever, u've been recalled without forgotten every single moment we were together before...from "naive" us, to another level of growing up till today...physically, the biggest changes is u, i'm always the same, never changed, still as bored and useless as before. Everyone today calling me uncle, bald head, old man etc...who would want to be with someone who'd became worst than before, than ever!~ I only see blurred visions, with only black and white color in the picture. I'm seeing things with no more colors without u anymore...i've no strenghts but only full with weaknesses! I cant bear this, i cant bear the loneliness i'm having which is killing me soon...

ME: "Don't abandon me, please...." *tears* (Q: Do u actually know how much i misses u, right up till today after so long?)

I dont know how to confront anyone about this. Pretended nothing, till the night comes, tears the one which accompany me till i'm tired then fell asleep holding my mobile phone! I'm such a pathetic old looking bastard! I disappoint the one i love most, i starting disappointing my family as well as my friends as i'm losing myself..day by day...empty soul walking somewhere in the street!

Assignments, presentations, examination, work, money, personal, family, friends....i'm too much stress and pressured really! I need "u"... :(

p/s: "To whomever who're encountering problem with your partner, think twice before making a decision to end the relationship, it isn't what u all thought to "begin" and "end" simplicity, but there's always a reason why u both got together and be together this long...appreciate them before u lose them.."

"I miss you, you and you so much..."

Lewis Donna Lyrics

Q: Can I just have one last chance from you...please?

Love,
-[aLbY]- @ -133-

Have you forgotten the touch between us?

[Vittorio]
Tutte le cose che non sai io te le insegnerò
Le stelle che tu conterai te le regalerò
Saprò inventare favole che ti racconterò
Così che I sogni volino più a nord

[Nicole]
So many things I've never known I will learn from you
I'll find reason in your words that are tried and true

[Vittorio]
E proverò a sorprenderti con un sorriso in più
Così che possa perderti anche tu

[Vittorio & Nicole]
You are my miracle
You are pure and soft just like the air I breathe
You, heart of my heart, heart of my heart
There's a secret that you hold, that you hold
Deep within that so discretely hides your soul

[Nicole]
The strength I simply never found, I will find with you
What I believe our future holds, I will see it through

[Vittorio]
Con te vivrò ogni attimo che mi regalerai
Come se fosse l'ultimo per noi

[Vittorio & Nicole]
You are my miracle
Acqua chiara e fresca che fa vivere
You, heart of my heart
There's a secret that you hold, that you hold
And it's hidden so discretely

[Vittorio]
Vertigy my guide
To love that lasts forever

[Vittorio & Nicole]
You, heart of my heart, heart of my heart
There's a secret that you hold, that you hold
Deep within that so discretely

Will you share with me your secret?
Ever More

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Finally, after such long time, i gotta get closest to u. No one wouldn't know how i feel, i miss u so much, so darn much! Its been such a long time since few months back and i finally gotta get closest to u for once. My heartaches really much, very very much when i saw u lying on the bed like that. Tears tearsing non-stop watching u in suffocation. Hold ur hand tightly, hugging u with tears while pampering u on ur face, it was my greatest time of all this few months time! *tears* nevertheless, i helped to clean ur body and limbs, watching u tearsing without a word, it really hurts myself too. All i did was holding ur hand tightly, sitting by ur side, keeping u company through the night till morning. All i knew was that i misses u so much till i could tears non-stop while hugging u through the night before the sunrises. It still proves that i still love u very much....but, have u really forgotten the touch between us? I'm only having worries and stress over so much....and it seems nothing that i can do. I'm so lost! Is it really that u've forgotten of the touch between the both of us, including the night i was there for u??? :'(

Love,
-[aLbY]- @ -118-

What am I? Who am I? Where am I?

Who am i? Where am i standing? What am i? I'm so lost, it's so hurting in my heart as if being stabbed into the heart! Its been for weeks, i've not been sleeping well, not having sufficient rest, and been tearsing missing someone badly...can't do anything at all, it's so suffocating. I've been waiting, waiting for "someone" to accept me back as who i am used to, but things got worsten for no reason. I dont know what can i do. Its so pain in the heart, i love "someone" so much but "someone" is scare to get back coz afraid to be hurt again. I never mean it, u knew me best, u knew i'd always never meant to do this, why arent u forgiven to me as i've been doing so much to get us back? :'( i felt so suffocated without u! I miss u everyday and night, where ever i am, u're still in my mind! I'm only getting weaker day by day due to the insufficient rest, sick for many times and recovered then sick back. I didnt care too, but still waiting, while writing my feelings on the blog. Somehow, i can only tell, no matter how did u responded to me towards whatever i've been doing, i'm still so much in love with u. Maybe EVERYONE can call me a stupid freak, MAYBE u'll also think that i'm another stupid freak, or whomever it is said that to me, i reckon, in the end, only myself who will know whether isit worth or stupid or not. Afterall, so much of things happened, or whatever which we'd been thru (though not much, but its sufficient for me to love so much), and whatever commitment we made together, thats why i'm truely loving u with my heart till the vain.



Sick...sick....sick....prolly not only others would said that, but u may thought so too, but if i dont love u truely, i wont be doing this right up till today, being called a stupidity waiting for someone for nothing. Everyone said so, but i'd never gave up before, but as much as know how u feel right up till today even we'd never meet or contacted for sometime, i know u still love me. Maybe i'm wrong, tell me if i am....but whatever we did and been thru together, no matter how much time we'd been separated, i'll still love u very very very much...and i'll prove u, that i truely love u very much too...only u will know coz u know me best, if only u'd forgotten about me..

Always bear in mind, no matter what happened to u in the end, u're still who u're to me and the one i love is u and the inner u, not what u looked like or what others said...bEE always loves u!~

With love,
-[aLbY]- @ -112-

I'll never break your heart . . .

[Spoken:]
Baby, I know you're hurting
Right now you feel like you could never
Love again
Now all I ask is for a chance
To prove that I love you

From the first day
That I saw your smiling face
Honey, I knew that we would
Be together forever
Ooh when I asked you out
You said no but I found out
Darling that you'd been hurt
You felt like you'd never love again
I deserve a try honey just once
Give me a chance and I'll prove this all wrong
You walked in, you were so quick to judge
But honey he' s nothing like me

[Chorus:]
I'll never break your heart
I'll never make you cry
I'd rather die than live without you
I'll give you all of me
Honey, that's no lie
[2x]

As time goes by
You will get to know me
A little more better
Girl that's the way love goes baby, baby
And I (I) know you're afraid (know you're afraid)
To let your feelings show (feelings show)
And I understand
Girl, it's time to let go (girl, it's time to let go because)
I deserve a try (try) honey
Just once (once)
Give me a chance (chance) and I'll prove this all wrong (wrong you walked)
You walked in, you were so quick to judge (quick to judge)
But honey he's nothing like me
Darling why can't you see

[Chorus (2x)]

[Bridge:]
No way, no how (I'll never break your heart girl, I'll never make you cry)
I swear (Oh I, oh I, I swear)
No way, no how (I'll never break your heart girl, I'll never make you cry)

[Chorus (3x)]

p/s: I'm sorry baby, i'm really sorry....I love u and I really love u honestly...I promise, I'll never break your heart anymore...

Love,
-[aLbY]- @ -112-

存爱

p/s: "How much i love u, cant be measured, but how much i really love u, is how much i've tried to get us back my love.."

爱情是一本存摺 零存快乐
每天查询有多少的余额
你设下难猜密码 把自己所锁着
既然给你的 我就不会舍不得

我没有藉口 去预知你的自由
你没有理由 为了偿还爱的承诺 放弃你的天空

爱你 很多很多
只想存给你快乐 却提领更多寂寞
存爱 存在记忆中
回忆它让我富有 思念确让我贫穷

还有多少青春 可以挥霍 对爱的执着
就让泪水静静慢慢流 在 蓦然回首



I remember this is another version of "Chu Shou Tai Zhong", the meaning is direct saying that "Love Exist" which means "Cun Ai". The inner depth of this song means alot to me, and also the one i loved most too! U were the one who introduced me to this song! It means really much to not only myself but the both of us. I love u, and i miss u so much too! I do not know what can i do to get us back together, but i can only be continuously being in my own world, in my blog, writing and dedicating my feelings by words.... "Our love" really existed as it isn't as what u've always never been believing in! I love u truely with all my open heart and never had let u go before, as thou u requested before.....afterall, i'm sorry, but i love u too much deeply baby... i know i may be no one to anyone and everyone could feel "disgusted" with my words here, but afterall, this is how much i love u and no one will ever understand why isit so too except urself...

There was a day, i went to the cuppacakes, and ordered some cuppacakes, saw this box of cuppacakes, i remembered i've bought this for u when i found out about cuppacakes during one of our monthly celebration. Anyhow, i didnt get to buy this that time, but i'm dedicating this for u! There's a card on this box of cuppacakes theme is "I love you" by me, showing that i bought the cuppacakes that time is what i really wanna cheer u up and also meant that i love u as in this box of cuppacakes!

p/s: "I jz somehow needed ur T.L.C back baby..."

With love,
-[aLbY]- @ -109-

洋葱

Sober...sober...depress...depress....super depress! Eyes swollen, pretended as if i was drunk thats why my eyes are red and swollen in front of my parents, in fact it was tears that makes my eyes swollen! I'm missing something, really something that is very precious to me but....its really missing! I'm really lost! I really do love u lots! I'm sorry...really! I've a dedication for u, hoped u listen to the song...that's what i wanna tell u! :'(

With love,
-[aLbY]- @ -107-

the "TUESDAY".

I remember we'd a very beautiful and enjoying tuesday before. Full with love and tender on that day, we planned to have dinner together then go for ice-cream at Swensen, EARTHQUAKE! Yeah its 50% every tuesday!~ so we decided to go for a sweet-tuesday ice-cream. Having the favourite together on such a meaningful day with your love ones, thats whats most beautiful and delicious. It's another tuesday today, i dont know what u've been doing, what had happened on u too lately, but all i know, tuesday is the EARTHQUAKE day. I didnt make it to any of the Swensen outlet for ice-cream, but i'm happy to watch Baskin Robin & Haagen Daaz. I just want to have my tuesday Earthquake with the one i only love back.... It was raining terribly since evening, i was stucked in Midvalley, cant go out for Swensen, i thought having it myself....alone thou, but didnt make it too in the end. Passing another lonely tuesday night, it's really driving me crazy missing "u". I do not know what to do, but only knowing that i'm stressed with many things lately. Insomnia....insomnia....insomnia....is back haunting me over and over again!~

"星", this song, it reminds me so much of u, nevertheless, i dont know what went wrong out of a sudden. But u should know the truth beneath that i'm still right here waiting for u, we may be friends right now, but u know i'm still so much in love with u and wants to love u back only. If only this blog is still in existing and it happen that u read this one day, this is what 'http://alby27.blogspot.com @ All About Me, Myself & I....' is all about u... It doesnt matter for me to wait, as long as when the day comes, and u've understand my sincerity and fidelity towards u, i promised, 'the past' will never gonna happen again anymore...

If my love for u is fake, if my sincerity is fake, if my fidelity is ever fake to u and what if only whatever is written in this blog are fake also, u can let everything go with peace and forget about the bastard, named Alby who owns the blog and hate him forever...but when the day comes that u ever trust what i've expressed and waited for, once for all for the last time, let me love u till the world ends...i will not hurt or disappoint u anymore, i'll never hurt u anymore and i'll never let others harm u too...this is my love for u!!

p/s: 'Always been missing, and loving u...'

Love,
-[aLbY]- @ -102-

100th Day @ Nostalgic

When u say u dont love me, i'd always believe that it's not true coz i know u love me more than anything else. Its the 100th day, everyone may have thought i've gone to somewhere, missing or perhaps extinct. I really wanted to, but i couldn't, coz i know u're still the one and only that i love most, the one and only that i want to be with and the one and only that i need baby. No matter what it's i'll still love u as much as it is. I admitted it's all my fault to have disappointed u and break ur heart, i dont mean it, and never mean to by purpose before. Afterall i'm not only seeking for forgiveness but also allowing me to love u back as before. I'm also an ordinary person, as ordinary as u use to think still! What i want is u, but nothing. U may be fear of getting hurt again, but what i've been expressing and waited for u all this while, i promised that i'll never gonna repeat the same old mistakes anymore. As time passes by, hour by hour, day by day, weeks by weeks, it has now reached to the 100th day and i'm still the Alby who loves u as much as how i used to, maybe u dont but...ya, i cant really tell anymore but only misses u very very much!!~



p/s: "I do not wanna lose someone who means everything to me, and if u were doubting who i meant, yes, that person is definitely going to be u, it isn't a lie but a promise. It's all true..."

Love,
-[aLbY]- @ -100-

PARANOID

I'm feeling very paranoid lately, very paranoid. I do not know what is myself and where am i standing on Earth. I felt i'm left out at a corner yet everyone, i mean EVERYONE is having their "life" now. Maybe we should call it simple life instead. I'm a complicated person, a very very very complicated person, thats what people saying this days. I do not even know that myself is as complicated as it was thought. No wonder i've been lonely all this while, paranoid in the night, tearsing asking "why, why and why...?" I really dont know why am i feeling so paranoid lately. Tears when i'm alone, tears during the midnight and before sleep. EAch day i'm feeling even tired and exhausted. Beginning to feel i'm in an empty space alone. I tried, and tried and have been trying to get something back but.....i dont know but, i'm lost, i'm confuse, i'm somewhere hanging in the middle in the air, couldn't find my "simple life". Simple life is what everyone wanted, i'm still seeking for it but what's most important, I am not complicated! Its been sometime including my friends and family including someone which i still love and cared, should have known me well, should've known what and who i am, am i really such a complicated or who gives trouble to others kind of people? :'( i need someone, i need "someone" to be by my side to keep me courage and energy. Afterall, u know me best, u know me well, i'm sorry for what happened, i'm awake from the fairytale, i'll not repeat the old silly mistakes anymore, if only i could have u back in my arms...

Goodnight everyone...

p/s: "I'm missing something, something very valuable to me, but eventually "it" thought "it" isn't valuable to me anymore...i miss u, for real, if u dont believe me"

If you don't know me by now"

Love,
-[aLbY]- @ -96-

Without you

-[aLbY]- @ -94-

Saturday Mr.Lonely..

I'm feeling terribly lonely, sad, exhausted and lost now...
My bro is not around, sister is not around too, only my parents...
I'm all alone... :(
I need "someone's" help...



I dont know what can I do when I miss you so much.. :'(
Goodnight everyone...

-[aLbY]- @ -92-

Just for you . . .

-90-

I see you beside me
It's only a dream,
A vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memories.

How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to let you know

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the light
Even the night
It only reminds me of you... you...

I needed my freedom
That's what I thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart cried while you cried
Rivers of tears but I was too blind to see

Everything we've been though before
Now it means so much more

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When it turn out all the light
Even the night
It only reminds me of you...

Only you...
So come back to me
I'm down on my knees
Can't you see...

How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to let you know

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When it turn out all the light
Even the night it only reminds me of you... you

Only reminds me of you

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Its been 3months, there's nothing much to reveal or whatsoever, some people used this term as "watever" heheh where ever i go, it'll only reminds me of you. I wondered, i really have been wondering, would you think of me where ever we'd been together before, or whenever it is. Honestly, i really do, but the worst thing is that i couldn't do anything about it! :( laying on the bed everyday and night, thinking whether will i have anymore chance to do what i used to hug u to sleep, or had pillow talked with u before sleep. Hugging seems to be a very normal act to anyone, but hugging someone u love so much, is something special, something very special which no one could describe but u'll eventually get 'addict' to it. Some may think its nonsense that i'm writing now, probably its useless, or maybe stupid, but i've got to admit that, this is what 'you' mean to me. I may mean nothing to anyone, but i couldn't deny to say out the truth that indeed, u've always been in my heart. No doubt although i've hurt u before, but all this time, including this 3months post, its' all truely from my heart. Although i couldn't wish you face-by-face nor sms, its the 1yrs10mths anniversary, but i'll only wish you here, happy 20th month anniversary my love...i've been missing you so much, and will always love you...

Love,
-[aLbY]- @ -90-

The closer I get to you

The closer I get to you
The more you make me see
By giving me all you got
Your love has captured me

Over and over again
I tried to tell myself that we
Could never be more than friends
And all the while inside I knew it was real
The way you make me feel

Lying here next to you
Time just seems to fly
Needing you more and more
Let's give love a try

Oh
Sweeter and sweeter love grows
And Heaven's there for those
Who fool the tricks of time
With the hearts of love, they find true love
In a special way

The closer I get to you
The more you make me see
By giving me all you got
Your love has captured me

Over and over again
I tried to tell myself that we
Could never be more than friends
And all the while inside I knew it was real
The way you make me feel

The closer I get to you
The feeling comes over me
Me too
Pulling closer, sweet as the gravity

The closer I get to you

"For you, my love.."

-[aLbY]- @ -89-