What shall I do?

Everyone often says "live life to the fullest and be happy". I totally understand what this statement means, but when problem occur in life and it's unsolved, we would never fulfill the above statement. Most of my friends knows that I'm always either unhappy or emotional, I would just have to say, I preferred to keep things back to myself today. I've grown up more than who I am in the previous time, trying to reduce as little problem as possible to others as I know most my friends are concern about me or curious why am I always being like this. I would just have to say, I'd rather keep things to myself, and settle it all by myself only.

Over the years, I was living quite well and healthy. Never knew as I grow up, there'll be more problems appearing and need to be solved in many different ways. Ups and downs are the most fundamental issue in life. Within these few years, I've always been thanking You for giving me things I wanted, but at the same time, why do You always take things You gave from me back? When I don't want it, You gave it to me, when I wanted it so badly, You didn't want to give it to me at all. Recently many things happened, they're also visible for sure, because I know I could handle things all by myself without troubling anybody or need to borrow others' ear or wasting others' time.

Indeed, I'm not really happy with what I am now, some thing has been bothering me, over the months, but nothing that I could do as things don't seems worked smoothly or well. As I said, He always give us things we don't want/don't really want, or not giving things we want. Life is never unfair! Let me clarify the statement, mostly who defended the statement is due to the experience they're encountering whereas those who counter the statement, they'll claim that either "time is the matter", "it isn't the right time", "you've not met the right one" or any other reasonable reason. Well, put Yourselves in the victim's shoe, will You feel the same as I do or as what mostly says? Sometime, some things are beyond our control and some are under controlled. Why can't You just be fair to me? Sigh...

It's really getting my nerves on all the time, I'm really tired physically and mentally already. Why can't You just be fair to me for once and for all? Sigh...

-[aLbY]-