What can I do?

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me..
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Finally my stress period is over, and going to be free back for the next few months before the next semester examination comes. Yea yea, i know i havent been updating my birthday post & pictures yet, still getting the pictures alright! This is a nice song, YES i know its old ok! C'mon, its jz me, i know i'm an old freak who loves old songs and old things. Anyway, this is Alby!~ my parents said that i'm a sentimental person (*ahem*), well, i guess i'm just what everyone says, "Alby is an emo fella." Ya, it's jz because am a person who's sentimental and stick to no changes, that's why i'm an emo fella when i encounter indifference in anything. Sometimes i really felt that i only want to live in my own world. Nothing can be like what u expected unless u achieve it by your own effort. I will only put in 101% of effort in achieving something which is important to me in my life. I dont know whether do i consider myself a naive or a close-minded person. I'm not a very tradition person, but at least i'm truthful to everybody except people i dislike. I've undergo a 21yrs of life, i met different people, really different people in terms of character and type of human being too. I learned something, but i only learn to adapt to it! It's either i take it or leave it. Sometimes somehow i hoped what i've would remain and not changed....but on some circumstances, Alby, you dont have a choice! I know i may not be a good son, a good boyfriend nor a good friend, but what i'm good at is i'm Alby itself. To people who knows Alby (really well), will know he has at least ONE good criteria in everyone's mind.

I finally had turned 21yrs old. I did gain and lost some things. What are they i needn't say it out as it isn't important to anyone but i've only been wishing for one thing all this while, it's alright, as i said, my things aren't so important to anyone again. Lets say this is only a random post where i havent been writing for long? I've no good results in life at the moment, i gain NOTHING and lost EVERYTHING. This is what i meant by i gain something and lost something. I wanted to make my blog private i guess, feeling that i only wanted to leave in my own world. Sad isn't it? HAHA...

Actually I felt i've aimless life now. Everyone has their dreams, ambitions or at least an aim in life, but i dont, in my 21st birthday, i made 2wishes this year. Both wishes are exclusively made for people whom is important in my life...not even for myself! Maybe it's jz like what some people says, fate in life. My happiness, was once in my own hands, but now, i realise my hands are jz retard and malfuncion. I make people in my surroundings unhappy instead of happiness. Sometimes i really felt i'm a troublemaker to everyone. "Alby, Alby...u need to be strong, then proof to everybody u're not as you said yourself, a useless fella! Proof them u're at least someone to them in their list!" Rant but keeping myself courage, it sounded kinda stupid isn't it? HAHA but only myself could help myself...thanks to whomever who visits and read my blog. I appreciated all your precious time reading such blog, ranting of myself!

Hey people, have u ever listen to the songs i posted on the right side of my blog? Yea, some emo songs again!! Anyway, they're masterpiece songs which reminded me so much of the greatest memories i had before. Give urself sometime to listen to the songs. They means alot to me...

Its close to 4am, i couldn't sleep really! I was super tired, but couldn't rest at all. My air-cond is leaking, so no air-cond for the night, its a public holiday, but to me its jz a normal monday, im on a week holiday before starting my new semester, but i dont feel like going anywhere at all, im not studying under-pressure as well, but still cant sleep!

I'm really missing something in life now, my soul i guess...why cant i be perfect? Why cant i jz make people in my surrounding happy with me? Sigh...i should jz stop here! Enough of ranting in such a sad place! Thanks for spending your precious time reading on such a blog...

-[aLbY]-