Unconditional Love . . .

Unconditional Love

[Better to read the Chinese version below if you know Chinese. Thanks to No Name Angel for translating this entry into Chinese]

This morning, I had an online friend who was just came out from the hospital. He was there for mental depression. From the msn chat I had with him, he was having depression from his relationships. Deep disappointments from too much expectations in a relationship. Now he's doing fine and he's back to office for work. But he's still on anti depressant drugs to help him to recover.

In a loving relationship, how deep can we love each other? Do we love each till we forgot to love our ownself? Sometimes, I think alot about this question. In a relationship, both people need to love each other and need put effort into the relationship and also love ownself. For me, I love the relationship more than loving my ownself. I spend more time in the relationship more than for myself. I spend more money in the relationship more than for myself. Some people say I'm stupid because I should love myself more.

There are some people who found their compatible partner but scared to fall in love. They love their partner so much that they afraid to start a relationship. The reason being that the relationship may not end up well and hurt each other. Hurt other people and hurt ownself. To them, it's better to love from a distance. In a friendship. Having the love, as a friend, and not falling too deep. Love is just ironic. Love is suppose to be beautiful feeling. And yet, there can be so much pain in love. How can we love a person without having so much pain?

How do we love a person? I don't know for sure and I'm still learning. There are some people who wants to know everything the lover has done. Want to know all their lover's friends. Their lover's phone calls, SMS, daily activities, track where their lover is and whatsoever. They want to change their lover's lifestyle. When they do 'this and that' to their lover, they also expect their lover to do the same 'this and that' for them too. They will be thinking if their lover will love as much as they love their lover. Whether their lover will miss as much as they miss them. Whether their lover will sacrifice as much as they sacrifice for them.

To me, I prefer to have unconditional love. I will love my lover as much as I can. I will do as much as I can for my lover. But I will try not to expect the same thing in return. I will just do my best for my part. If I have too much expectations, there will be a lot of pressure in the relationship and it won't be enjoyable anymore. Just try to go naturally and things will change accordingly. if things are just nice, just let it be.

Things I write here can be so ideal. But sometimes I can be emotional and think a lot about relationship. Maybe I think too much. Love is just ironic. We cannot hold too tight. And cannot don't care at all. Maybe it's like flying a kite. Sometimes we need to pull back a bit, and sometimes we let the kite to fly with the wind. Pull too hard, the string will break. Let go too much, the kite will fly away with the wind. Love is like the string, that connects the lover and ownself.

A balance. I'm still learning very hard to achieve the balance. Do you feel the same way as I do too ?

Happy Chinese Valentine Day. Happy Chap Goh Mei.

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无条件的爱



无条件的爱

今天早上，我的一个网友才刚出院。四天前他被送入医院，因为他需要接受心理辅导和药物治疗。他，患上了忧郁症。他出院后我和他在msn闲聊了一会儿，才知道原来他是因为感情出了问题，才患上忧郁症的。感情世界里的困扰，就像是一个无底洞，一旦处理不当，就会掉入那个无底深潭里，很难很难，才能够走出来。他，又何尝不是呢？他，就是因为对他的另一半期待太高了，结果就如俗语的那一句话一样：期望越高，失望就越大。幸好的是，他现在已经没有什么大碍，可以如常一样上班工作。只是他还需要定时服食镇定药来帮助他完全复原。

在我身边发生这样的事情，真令我有感而发。在一段感情里，究竟我们能够爱对方多深呢？我们是否总是深爱着对方到了忘我的境界？甚至，忘了该怎么去爱自己。很多时候，我总是为了这些很俗套的问题，而想到了很多很多。一段感情里，双方都应该爱着对方，感情永远都是一个双人参与的游戏。同时，双方又得为了这段感情而付出努力，而付出的同时，又得懂得如何爱惜自己。感情啊感情，真是多么矛盾的游戏。而我自己，总是爱他比爱自己来的多。赚回来的血汗钱，总是那么的舍得花在我们的感情生活里。有些人总觉得我很傻很蠢，因为人总该爱自己比任何人都来得多。事实真得如此吗？

寻寻觅觅，觅觅寻寻，有些人终于找到了合适他们的另一半，却犹豫着不敢去爱对方，不敢去开始那一段可以是多么华丽的感情。原因？竟然是多么的可悲，只因为他害怕感情到最后会变质，结果不只伤害了自己，害伤害了对方。果然有够可悲。把对爱对方的感觉，放在一个遥远的距离，甚至把这种感觉洒在友情的平台上，让大家站在友情这个平台上，不必付出，不必担心失去，不必担心伤害，那么永远永远的，大家都可以永远在一起。爱，就是如此的矛盾，它既可以像彩虹般旬兰美丽，也可以像服食砒霜般让人痛不欲生。究竟我们可以如何爱一个人却感觉不到通的感觉呢？

究竟我们该如何去爱一个人呢？又该如何好好地去经营一段感情呢？我不知道，也在学习着。有一些人，希望可以完全的掌握他爱人的全部，对方的日常活动，对方所有的朋友，对方的电话记录，对方手机的短讯，更想要知道对方每份每秒的一举一动。对方一切的一切，都在他的掌心里。甚至，要改变对方的生活方式。当他把这套经营感情的方式套在对方的身上，也期待对方能用如此的方式对待自己。他们的多疑，总让他们想得太多。究竟对方是否像我爱他那样的爱着我？究竟对方是否向我想念他一样的想念我？究竟对方会否像我一样付出所有来对待这段感情？这样的问题，总是时常环绕在他们的脑海里，不停的打转。。。

而我呢？我希望拥有无条件的爱。我会尽我的全力去爱对方，我会尽我的努力去为他做所有事情，只要他幸福就好。可是，我却尝试不去期待那么多的回报，只要求自己能做好我的本分。期待越高，失望就越高，这句话，并不是没有它的道理。当我们期待的越高，无形中压力就会悄悄的滋生在两人感情当中，压力总让人透不过气，忘了该怎么去享受一段真心付出的感情。缘起缘灭，让一切顺其自然，就是最好的方法。随着时间这个巨轮的转动，一切都会慢慢的改变。如果时间的前进，带来的是正面的改变，just let it be，一切都很好。

人的想法，总是那么的完美，就像我写的文字一样，流露着世界里最天衣无缝的韵味。可是，人毕竟是有感情的动物，我总是很容易被自己情绪打败，被困在一些很虚幻的问题之中。爱，总是那么的矛盾。我们既不可以握得太紧，也不可以洒脱的放开手。这就像是放风筝吧？！有的时候，我们须放手让风筝飘在蓝色的天空中，有必要时，也要把手中风筝的线收回。就是这样，收放自如。技巧不够熟练，，风筝就会断线，然后随风而飘，飘往那遥远的地方，只怕连说再见的机会也没有了。爱情就是风筝的线，把风筝和放风筝的人紧紧相连，却又是那么的脆弱。

平衡，一切都该如此。而我，还在努力的学习着如何在感情的世界里，达到平衡的境界。那么，在读着这篇心情文章的你，是否也一样呢？

祝你：元宵节快乐。

Credits to pikey
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I saw this post on one of my very long lost friend, pikey, do not know whether he still remembers me or not, but its so true about what he said in the post. Although i wasn't in an "unconditional relationship" but, expecting alil is surely foresee in all relationships. I dont dare to say i didnt expect anything, but im willing to do anything for you jz because i love you more than myself. Rather do anything for you than for myself, spend whatever on you than myself, and even give you whatever you wanted from me as long as you're with me, let me loving you and share the ups and downs together, that would be what i wanted. I know you'd done the same to me too, but no matter what, i jz wanted u to know i'll still be there for you no matter what, fulfill your expectations from me (if im given sometime), will not repeat the mistakes ANYMORE and wait for you to let me be back by your side as i love you truely deep in my heart...



-[aLbY]-