I don't want you to go, my love . . .

Here I am
Alone and I don't understand
Exactly how it all began
The dream just walked away
I'm holding on
When all but the passion's gone

And from the start
Maybe I was tryin' too hard
It's crazy 'cause it's breakin' my heart
Things can fall apart but I know
That I don't want you to go
And heroes die
When they ignore the cause inside
But they learned from what's left behind
And fight for something else
And so it goes
That we have both learned how to grow

And from the start
Maybe we were tryin' too hard
It's crazy 'cause it's breakin' our hearts
Things can fall apart, but I know
That I don't want you to go

(Oh) it's just too much
Takin' on the whole world all by myself
There's not enough
Unless I start trustin' somebody else
Somebody else and love again

And from the start
Maybe we were tryin' too hard
It's crazy 'cause it's breakin' our hearts
Things can fall apart, but I know
That I don't want you to go, no

Maybe we were tryin' too hard
It's crazy 'cause it's breakin' our hearts
Things can fall apart, but I know
That I don't want you to go

Oooh no, I don't want you to go
Say that you won't go

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________





What do you see in this picture? A normal cloudy scenic? Indeed, but this is what i'm feeling, not trying to be dramatic or what but only being expressive of my feeling. People around, friends around, family and including my beloved too, i guess no one understands how do i feel every day and night. It's every day and night. Its just like what's portrait in this picture, cloudy, dull, dark, lost, don't see the limelight, no direction, lifeless, restless, sad....et cetera. I don't understand why am in such a pathetic situation. I'd never thought i would became such depress and heartbreaking. Indeed, everyone will be wondering why do i felt so? Alright, let me make things clear, i'd never been accused to be a terrible person before, its not a complain nor anything, but i'm only expressing why do i felt so. I've never been treating people bad before, the worst thing i've done was only ignoring my brother, the rest, i dont see it unless to my only enemy. I'd never treated any other people bad before, never, definitely not to my beloved too. Why would u think unnecessarily? Why would u go so far? Its alright even u walked further, eventhough if i'm slow, i can still catch u up because u've left footprints and i'm always behind u no matter what happened, never had left u lonely before too. I've never treated u bad, i've never before, can someone tell how bad would i be till my love doesn't want to stop walking...u know me well, i don't want u to go, i don't want u to go....can u not leave me baby? :'( i really don't want u to go...

It's 4++am, i'm not back home yet, still outside, my connection was down again when it was fine for the last 24hours but after the rain and thunderstorm, it went off again. I was out for group studies since 10.30pm, everyone left by 2.30am, yet i'm still outside, revising.....as well as writing, cause i dont feel like going back home. I've been having sleepless night more than a month, worries kept bothering me, efforts made to get things back with my love, proving my love what others said are wrong, what u thought are wrong too cause i do not want to suffer being accused i'm never a sincere person or not serious towards my love kind of person. I can proof for the last few hundred days, i've never been fake or insincere to u before. Whatever incident including the goods and bads, i'd never forgotten before! I've never had reluctant u before too, why do we have to suffer of the "untrue story/fact". I remembered those days, whenever any rumour was spread, u told me not to bother coz most of these people outside are destroyer and fake! Bitches and bastards like bitching of others! U said its things btw us, u love me, u wont bother any shits from these people! FRom then, i don't bother whatever bullshits spreaded coz i'm never easily being influenced when u said that to me. I'd never taken u for granted before, if love is about taking granted of each other, i wouldn't be like this till today, i wouldn't bother, i wouldn't care, i wouldn't be depress too! Whats love? Whats you to me? Whats everything we've been thru to us? They're what we believe to be true coz we're both equally serious and proven to be important to each other! I do not believe that my personality and character which u know cant prove that i'm what u said to be the only person u love and wont let go, if i dont let go.. :'( another night, i'm tearsing for your absense in my life...i've said and promised u before bed, u're my one and only one, i'll never gonna let u go no matter what my love...

p/s: "TRust me, my sincerity for u, my love for u and myself for u, are always true and real! I will never fool or play with your love for me coz I AM NEVER gonna let your past to repeat and hurt u...I'll have my words for u baby!"

Love,
-[aLbY]-