I can't let it go, because Love takes time to develop.

I can't let it go, it's been a whole day i was alone at home, depressing all by myself tearsing. Eyes are swollen, yet super tired. You asked me to let it go, but i don't want, you insisting to force me to let you go, i admitted i can't, and i mean i can't let you go AT ALL! I know there were things happened in the past which made another felt afraid to trust and be with this person back, but seeing i've been trying to do something back for you all this while to it back, why? Why isn't it enough? And you didn't want to talk through it along together. Let you go, it seems of cutting my throat to stop breathing. It sounded dramatic, but to justify and clarify what's true from the bottom of my heart, indeed, i love you for everything! I've given everything including myself, and you'd became part of my life! Ya everyone will be thinking that am i bullshitting or lying here, well, people who knows me well enough could proof who "this person" i couldn't let go are to me. Baby, i can't let you go... :'(



I know there are many things that you couldn't forget or forgive, including the so much of love that we used to had is even lost today, how long have we been together? I'll change if its not working, i even willing to do anything and everything for you for the sake of getting things worked back! :'( love takes time to develop, how did we developed everything in those days takes time too, and i've been readied to give you a lifetime to develop whatever we've lost in the previous! I love you truely, and i'm really learning to treat you better in time! Everything that i'm learning is to proof you i really love you, it isn't just the feeling, i'm gonna make you understand that i'm not just expressing for the sake of saying, but i'm also gonna work things out by my capability. I've made my words to you that i'm gonna get what we've lost back, our happiness, then settle down together! I won't give up, i never give up, and this is what i've left most worthy now! I know i can't help to do anything now, and i know you're feeling that i'm so annoying to you and your life, you wanted peaceful without me! :'( indeed, it's painful yet suffocating to me, i've done it in 2008 before, i'm willing to do it another time for THE ONE i love, that i always been loving you WITHOUT abandoning or won't don't appreciate you like last time! I'm not a stupid freak who don't have feelings, yet i've a very weak and soft-heart which i've learnt from my past mistakes, i'll never gonna repeat what i did in the past to u! Even if it takes a long time for u to forgive me, i'll always be waiting for you! I know it's a very stupid thing or probably useless thing to do, for love, for what i've been doing for you, for everything that we've been through all this time, for my sincerity and my heart that had never stopped loving you yet in this deep, i'll wait for you to forgive me! Love you my dearest......

I admitted the pain is an infinite pain which cant be described, having this hard time, i really wished it not to happen again in 2009 as i prayed and wished hard for a better year for "us", but.... I'm a super-depress-freak again..but for 'you', u know i nevermind as long as you forgive me and really get me that i may not know how to express my concern at times, in fact, i cared a lot about you deep in myself. I didn't lie and i dare not to lie anymore too, it had became a nightmare to me before, and i've learnt alot from there, i will never let that happen too! :'( i knew that u still love me......, but i couldn't do anything to get near you as you're feeling irritated on me! Maybe i shall really let you relax your mind by not bothering u, or maybe...i don't know! I really miss you so much, i miss your hugs so much! :'( goodnight people...

-[aLbY]-