Truth.

I'm depressed. I do not know why and how, but the truth is i've never don't appreciate neither don't take one relationship seriously. It's been this long, i'm still being thought as a person who don't appreciate my beloved kind of person. How much have we been through, how much am i been trying to get your heart back, you've seen it. I admitted my mistakes which i lied and hurt you about the incident last year, yet that have taught me a huge lesson in life. Then onwards, i've never ever going to think about that incident anymore. After that long time of break, we got back, things been coping up, on and off, it broken down cause of misunderstandings at times. I've been true and appreciating you all this while since we got back! I don't fake, i'm ain't a pretender, neither a would be fake to you. I love you till the bottom of my heart, i will never deny i've been cold nor reluctant to you before too, you may be sensitive over it, but i've been true, i swear, and i did promised you that I'll never gonna hurt you anymore, i really didn't been cold or reluctant to you before. The lied i made last year, was my mistake, but ever since then, i've been true to you. I may be slow, i may not be that spontaneous, but i've been having a dull life without you for SIX MONTHS last year, i slowed everything down in my life, i became indecisive, i became slower in thinking, i became someone who's not really myself. I'm seeking for infinity of apologies, i'm not blaming you at all, but i just need your patience and love for me to recover from the SIX MONTHS of loneliness and dull life without you. The biggest mistake i've done had changed myself to someone i felt fed up of too. I knew you'll have a lot of doubts, a lot of questions, a lot of queries in your mind that "does Alby love me?", "do you appreciate me?", "have you been serious to me?", "do you take me as your lover?" etc..

ONE word for all the questions above, YES, i've always been appreciating you, i've always been serious towards the relationship (unlike those days anymore because i've learned my lessons), i've always been taking you not just a lover but even my life partner and for a definite answer, i definitely love you with all my heart yet till the bottom of my heart baby! You've got me wrong all this while, you've thought of me wrongly that i'm ain't like the fuckers or the bastards you've been thru with before. You can assume i am the same as them but i never lied to myself or even to you that i don't love you as you think, in fact, I LOVE YOU very very much deeply baby! The mistakes i've done, i've never deny before, and i've been doing all my best to give you the best from me. You've been mis-seeing me that's why you thought so. There's nothing i want from you EXCEPT you, your love and your trust! My love for you NEVER fade off before, i didn't treated you cold too but you had assume too much these days. I'm still the same Alby you used to know, i've never had a change of heart nor a change of feelings on you before. I may be blur and slow at times, yet i've been coping to change this attitude too! You're whom i gave everything to, you're whom i love most, you're whom i wants to live with...you're definitely not as what you thought i don't love, don't care, don't take it serious or don't appreciate you at all! I'm never that person towards you because i was the one who had been saving the relationship, the person who loves you won't tried saving the relationship so many times if they don't love you truthfully baby...and i love you truthfully yet sincerely! :'( what i said that what i've been doing for you was just to make you love me even more back baby......i'd it all written in all the hand made cards i made exclusively for you and they're all true words from my heart to you..please don't go baby!!~ bEe loves you for real from day 1 right up till today......

-[aLbY]-