Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Gift - to me . . .


Baby, I (heart) you for real and everything has been true from me to you...nothing is been FAKE before!


今天看見永遠的第一天, 終於實現我和妳的諾言, 時間將一切拉遠, 愛在心裡沒有改變..
今天看見愛飛過地平線, 當我說完我對妳的誓言, 這是另一個起點, 我一定愛妳到永遠...
到永遠....

Do you remember this phrases? I've never forgotten about it before, someone had dedicated me this song in years back, I was told that the meaning in the entire song is what it meant to me, ever...because of this, I love that person even more and i've make my words to that person, i love that person truely for real, i'll never gonna let that person go... :'( i'll never forget whatever the both me and that person have said to each other from those days right up till today, they all have been kept in my heart all this while...i'll never have a change of heart even if that person is better because my words to that person are real, and whom i really love, i knew it all by myself, by right that person knew it too but that person have lack of confidence yet been thinking that things WONT BE TRUE because TRUE LOVE never exist, especially on that person itself. No you're wrong, No you under-estimated my sincerity, No you've been thinking too much, No you've thought it all wrong! The one I claimed i'll only love, will love, and love from those days right up till today is still the same, and never changes before! We've said to settle things down together before, and i've been looking forward that after the 'misunderstanding and miscommunication' ended! The 'someone' and 'that person' i've been talking about is always YOU BABY!!! :'( did you know i've never thought i would have such lover in my life that will loves and made me loves so much? You're always special to me, that's why i never wanted you to be "obtained" by anybody else except me. Few years back, i've bought a couple ring but..., and this year i've got it from you, i was extremely greatful and thankful for the meaning of it! EVERYTHING, i mean really EVERYTHING you'd given to me, i've been appreciating it, and whatever from my beloved, they mean everything to me, nevertheless, it means your love for me too! I've always have faith in you baby!! No matter what it is, i swore to God, i've been real and sincere towards you and each and everything we've been through all these years together!~ Thank you so much my beloved...


<< You're the one that I love, and I love, and I love and I have never been as you thought or like others said before! I never betray you, I never lied to you (except last year's incident), I never take you as a toy, I never hide anything from you, I never take this relationship like you thought NOTHING or NOT SERIOUS, I have never taken you for granted before either baby, I SWEAR I REALLY HAVE NEVER BEEN FAKE TO YOU BEFORE.. :'( >>

For now, i dedicate this to you, it don't mean just what it was sang, but it means every single moment we were together from the lyrics in this song...and it's all about what we've always wanted and it's my love for you too!
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I'm suffocating, I've been suffocating from a severe pain that i can barely take, i've never been fake to you, i've never been fake to you before! How are you suppose to believe me?? :'( tears been tearsing everyday, i really couldn't bear the infinite pain in my heart that you thought of me as a 360 changed to someone you dont know who anymore. I dont know why, i dont know how, i dont know who either (whether i know or not), but i've never changed before!!!! I'm really getting weaker and weaker, day by day, i'm feeling it's the end of the world. Whatever i've been describing yet been telling you from the olden days, they're all TRUE! I've never lied and you've brighten and enlighten my life, i do not want to lose you at all baby!~ i've really been appreciating every single moment, single thing we did together and you did for me and have never had any bad intentions before, never, never and i've NEVER!!! :'( what's the point of betraying you when i've been the one who'd been holding you and been trying to save the relationship each time. You're not naive, you're never naive, you're not as you thought but you've always been the baby i love most for real, for true, for everything sincerely!! I know i lied and broken your heart last year, i really didnt mean it! I dont know how am i suppose to described that to you but i really have no harm at all! :'( please dont keep that in your heart anymore baby..i've learned my lessons well enough, i really did, i really never hide anything behind you before!!! I'm not that kind of person, i'm never that kind of person especially towards my beloved, and you'd became my everything, i really didnt betray or taken you as a "toy" before either...my entire life, getting to know you is the most fortunate miracle incident happened, getting together with you, is my greatest happiness ever in my life...you're the only one who'd given me hope to feel "alive" and to be rely on, if you were no one to me, i'll never have you as part of my family, i'll never give whatever shares i've to you baby.. :'( I REALLY LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART BUT ISN'T FOR ANY ADVANTAGE AT ALL BABY......

You've been asking "would I be the man u used to know?", yes, that's my answer, because my heart and soul had never changed before. We both have done a lot for each other, we've been through a lot, whatever i've got from you, i'll never forget, and i'll never let go because you've got my heart and soul with you, if you leave me because of untrue stories, by my friends (so called), your friends, or whatever they're called, i'd rather have my life hanging with suffocation and depression everyday. I've begun to realize, i've no one to trust or to count on anymore...ever since i realized what you've told me before since a year back, i've begin to lose friends in my surrounding because EVEN my friends betrayed me by accusing me to my beloved, i do not know the motive, but all i know, i've been only believing in you ONLY all this while, there's no one that i could count on anymore! I'm realizing the friends i've can only become a "hi bye" or "to company" only, but isn't by heart having me as a their friend. Even 'you' have got me all wrong that i'm an a$$hole to you, i've lost everything, yet been keeping myself in the closet because everyone outside there are a threat to me. These days, i've been keeping myself very far away from many people, but only staying at home or going for class. Even the people i'm very close with, i rarely mix to them anymore, or even meeting them anymore, because of all the rumours and words spread off, till the one whom i love most, partially was because of this reason. I'm scare, i've fell into the dark hole again, my world is surrounded by dark circles, dark clouds everywhere, evils everywhere, the only people i see whose my saviour, only my family and YOU! I can bear, i said before that i can bear every pain without you take it, but i'll never get to bear the pain without you baby, i've never changed to somebody else before. I'm always the Alby whom you always want him to be, and love him. I know i've weaknesses that makes you thought i would be a burden to you in your life, i'm sorry, i didnt know i've been your burden this long before but as a whole, i've never needed you to have me as your burden instead as what the song sang, "The way we held each other's hands, the way we talked, the way we laughed, it felt so good to fall in love, and I knew right there and then that you were the one.....I'm so happy, so happy that your in my my life, and baby now that your a part of me, you've showed me, showed me the true meaning of love(the true meaning of love), and I know he loves me..".

I mean my words to you baby, without you, my life had became dull, i've no natural laughter because you're not around joking with me, my visions only seeing black and white or sepia colors, i'm always with the distraught and worried expression...i dont want them, i need you, i want you back, i'm ain't playing, i'm ain't making EMPTY PROMISES, i'm ain't a player at all, i couldn't afford to play the "love game", i can only have ONE heart, ONE life, ONE beloved, and ONE motive which is loving and understanding you, i would rather spend my lifetime for you....with you, my love ones...you're right, i could take everything from you because you love me very much you claimed, but i've never lied to you either, that you could take my life away too if you had someone else and hated me. You'd been ignoring me for the past 2-3weeks, i've been in total distraught mood for that long.

Don't hate me baby, don't hate me anymore, please love me, i need your love, please love me like how we used to love each other!!!!~ :'( bee have always been real to you baby...if it's true that you said to me that your love is true to me, waiting wouldn't waste anything much in my life, i'll wait for the true love from you to be in existence back...i've always see "our relationship" a miracle and it's all different from others, because of you, i love you for everything, i'll wait for you to forgive my silly mistakes...

I really mean every single word sang in the song to you baby!!! You beautify me and my life, i'll not miss this opportunity to let you know, you didnt just mean how much 'I love you' but i love you more than what it means because i love you for all i could in my life...and that's exclusively for you, my beloved!

p/s: "I believe in every phase of relationship between us, if we really love each other (no matter who loves who more or etc), it's always worth me doing/sacrificing anything for you for us baby...i really love you for real! And i miss you very very much too baby..."

Goodnight everyone...

Yours love,
-bEE-
Day 38




Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The one I love still is YOU . . .



I didn't lie, I haven't been fake, I never pretended to love you before, the one I truely love most is ONLY YOU baby!~ no matter what happens, what it is, you're still the one i still love only, and love...to the hypocrites who spreads rumours, teasers, stabbers...enough of your acts, you all have given me a miserable life that claimed I'm such a "good bf"! Thanks for the "help", but no thanks, save it for yourself...i'm still the original of myself that loves ONE all by my heart, and that person knows whom i'm referring to...baby, i'm still the who-you-know right up till today... :'( i miss you so much...

-[aLbY]-
Day 35

Monday, March 23, 2009

Confession for 23-03-2009.






It's been another day, another day that i've been depressing, another day that i'm misses someone i been loving most, another day that it's tearsing again in the midnight missing someone so badly! Though today was a beautiful Sunday evening, the sunset was beautiful, the sun was very sunny, the feeling reminded me of the times when we were together. Just as how you shine your presence in my life, how you we'd been through the ups and downs together, most importantly, whatever that we've said to each other, i remembered each and every moment in detail...

Although i've hurt you last year, we've said to forgive and forget about the bad past and start all over again, even better than before. I believe in you, i always have been believe that you changes my life to a better life, you changes my everything including my mind, you gave the way i want my life to be...you gave me the best of everything i'd in life, your love..

I didn't lie, I didn't betray, I didn't have you for granted, I didn't fooled you before, I'd never taken you as a toy, I've never been fake to you too baby! My love has always been pure to you.. I only have you who I can be trusted, no one else that I could count on, no one as much as you because I love you all by my heart baby..i miss you very very much!~
_______________________________________________
For you:
"I'm so happy,
So happy that you're in my life
And baby now that you're a part of me
You showed me
Showed me the true meaning of love
And I know you loves me..."
_______________________________________________

p/s: "I can't smile without you because i'll never find someone like you baby...when I hold your hands, I'll never gonna let you go as i promised and as it is in the picture in this post too..Happy Anniversary Baby"

-[aLbY]-
Day 33

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Somewhere . . .

My soul is lost somewhere else, i don't know where is it, but i know it's somewhere...which i'm forbid to be there! :'( i'm lost, where are you? I needed you so badly, where had you been, where are you baby? :'(

-[aLbY]-

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Confession of the truth . . .







Time flies really fast, without noticing, years have passes by, and i'd my eyes opened to see many things in life. What most precious in my life is having you appearing to be in my life, i didn't lie yet i didn't fake around. I don't need to be fake to you no matter what it is baby. The moment i hold your hand and you were hold, i've told you before, i'll never gonna let you go...it's been years i've been saying it over to you, i mean my words because i really love you very, very, very much! My love for you had never changed since before, thus, i love you more each day since those days..i know i've hurt you before, i'm apologizing a billion and infinity of times! I miss you really very much baby..i remembered Twilight the movie, you said you hoped that we could be as lovely as them in the movie in our relationship, i promised i said we will be, and no matter how hard it is for me, i'll still make it happen because you're part of my life that as though the both of them in the movie! No matter how or what, i've never stopped loving you before, i've really been very serious towards the relationship, it's for you, this is all for you, to believe and to trust, "Alby, is still always been the one you claimed to miss and that loves very much..". I'd never betrayed you in my life before, never, i'd never lied to you about the past before either, never, i'd never been regretted of whatever happened within us, but to be more loving over you EXCLUSIVELY JUST FOR YOU ONLY my baby...


I've tonnes to tell you, we've tonnes of things haven't been done together yet and i've so much more love haven't been expressed to you yet too baby... I love you for real baby, please forget of the past and let us start all over again! You've shine me in my life, i don't wanna lose someone we both know having "you love me and i love you for real..", we must keep to our words.. I kept to my words, and i'm also changing to be a better person for you baby!



It was written on somewhere for me on the 1st October 2006, do you remember this? I will nver forget this post you wrote to me! You ONLY wanted my LOVE, i'm going to tell you, you'd ALL my LOVE already baby...i've kept things well in good condition and i still have this with me, you claimed you eventually found "the person" you always wanted, which is ME. Right till today, i love and i definitely still care for each and everything of you baby, I'm definitely the person you'd always wanted, and i'll change my bad habits for a better times together.. Don't go baby, please don't go, don't leave me here all alone in my days and nights without you but just tears, i don't want to live without you baby.. :'( a night that matches my feelings, raining heavily now!~ goodnight everyone...


????? - Wang Lee Hom
This song comes in a very deep truth meaning to me, because of you, i never knew this song, because of you, i'll never fall for you so much deeply, because you dedicated this to me, i promised, i'll always love you and today, i promised, for whatever that we've lost, we'll find it back and i'll never gonna hurt you like those days anymore! For you, i'll never give up in this magnificent relationship and times i have with you...i'll just have you only baby...Love ya...

-[aLbY]-
Day 28


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

='(


**This is just a random song which i love since years back only...**

:'( the most wonderful times i'd was having you loving me...i need you so much! Where are you now baby?! Where are you? :'( i'm missing you so much!!

-[aLbY]-

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Tears.






Exclusively dedicated for you..

p/s: "I do not want to waste any chances or time available as i'm fortunate to have you in my life, you will always be, and i always will love you as how we were used to be the sweetest couple ever...I LOVE you sincerely baby.."

-[aLbY]-

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Shower me with your love.



Depression. It really kills me and the pain is really pain into the heart. What happened these days? I encountered people telling me there're hypocrites in my surrounding/around me. Why? What have i done to "you people"? Have i ever touched any single thing of your life? NEVER! The worst was saying that i'm being disloyal or a worst word to say, i betrayed and scandal around and also accusing me that i've been hiding the truth that i used to be with somebody i'm close with for sometime? Are you people having mental disorder? Why are you all making my life way much more miserable? :'( *tears drip while confessing* WTF HAVE I DONE TO YOU GUYS AND WHY SHOULD YOU PEOPLE GAVE ME A FUCK UP LIFE? I'm losing trust within the people in my surrounding! The people i trust and love most has always been with me eventhough if there were hypocrites or we'll ignore them together, but i don't have it now, :'(, all i need is your love baby! I've never been this "betrayed" before, i couldn't take it! Who shall i trust? Who shall i share it with? :'( ONLY you....i'm ain't a fucking bastard, i'm ain't like those fucking asshole who spreads the fucking rumours around kind of person! I neither have the time with these fuckers! Why are you fuckers giving me such a miserable life?! I've done nothing...............nothing...............of those before!!!~



My dad had a talk with me earlier, it was random, but at least they knew no matter what i do, i'll never overboard or even won't turned to be how bad as i was accused to be! You're the one i love most, and also the who suppose to know me most too, i've never been filled with so much of love before, that only happen to be YOU who had been giving it to me baby! It's your love, everything that you gave me is what i wanted....i know i may not be your Mr.Perfect baby, but i'll really improvised myself to be a better person! What's really true i've never been fake, cheating on you or lied before!! :'( i've never even have any thought of taking ANY advantage on my love ones before, and it'll never happen on you too! I'd really been serious and true to you..

Your grasp in my hand fills me most with love, you made me feel most and the safest to be with baby..please trust me, i'm never gonna hurt you like those days anymore! I've learn my lesson sufficiently, i don't need anymore lesson to experience, what i've been saying is been true to you, and it isn't a single word is a lie too! I miss you so much, i miss you like crazy, i miss you grasping my hand too baby... :'( i really had never lied or anything that shows i dis-love you before..

-[aLbY]-

Thursday, March 12, 2009

For once in my life.




For Once In My Life - Michael Buble



For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me
Someone I've needed so long
For once unafraid
I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I'll be strong
For once I can touch
What my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew
Someone warm like you
Could make my dream come true
For once in my life
I won't let sorrow hurt me
Not like it's hurt me before
For once I have someone
I know won't desert me
I'm not alone anymore
For once I can say
This is mine, you can't take it
As long as I know I've got love
I can make it
For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me

p/s: "For once in my life, you've given what's best to me in my life, brighten up my life too. I'll never let you go, as i know i'm an imperfect person, but at least i've a heart that loving you faithfully and truthfully! For once in my life, i ever heard from my beloved of all those i've been thru with says 'needed me' or 'i couldn't smile without you'. I (heart) you baby, i've never had this feeling of loving ones by giving everything. I may be stupid at times, but i'll correct myself to the Alby you used to know, he's not dead! If i were to cheated on you, i wouldn't be loving you so much and not letting you go...i know i've disappointed and hurt you before, for once, if you really love me (since before), we will still get things back and better than before too...for you, for once in my life, i love you very much only, we will settle down things together happily..."

Love,
-[bEE]-

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why I love you so much.

For you,






Baby, no one else i would love so much as much as i love you! And no one would love me as how you love me that changes my everything in life. Please, forget the past, let's start all over again and make it better than last time as you claimed...you won't lie, and you'll keep your words to me!!~ :'( i miss you so much baby........

-[aLbY]-

Monday, March 09, 2009

Today, nevertheless, I still love you.





It's till today, i still love you as much as how i used to. You hold my breath, you hold my soul, you hold my life..it was as though it just happened yesterday or the day before, but nevertheless, it has been for years. No matter what i've done for you, i've always been using my heart to succeed for you. I may have done something which had hurt you in the previous time, but i've learned my lesson well, truthfully, i'll never do that to you anymore, today, and even the future. I'm sorry for what happened last year, i admitted it was all my wrong that made you went "lost". Baby, if you were thinking that "i don't love you", "i don't appreciate you", "i'm not serious to you" or "i'm being cold to you", those were what thought, in fact, the truth, i took you seriously yet been appreciating every single moment being with you, neither had been cold to you before as i've been opening all my heart to have you loving me back. I'm sorry of my arrogance on certain issue, i'm sorry of my defensive arguments towards certain issue, i'm sorry for what made you been "assuming" i wasn't true to you...

Every single moment, single words and single things you've done for me, i remembered them very very carefully. From the moment we were together, i've taken you as part of my life whose walking on the journey together encountering the obstacles we've been going through, staying strong overcoming it. I've always wanted to "settled down" things with you...i've never been fake to you before too! Would we be together this long, if i were being fake to you from the beginning? No, and NEVER, i've always been true to you. Each and everything you told me from day 1 we met, i've been remembering it yet i knew it was "childish" of myself thinking some fairytales between us. But indeed, it was all as thou fairytales before, i love you for what and who you are...just as what most people thought in mind but i know many will be thinking including you will assume, "don't dream of it". I ain't dreaming, but from when we knew each other, everything had became true and there was where love developed from then onwards. By referring to the most recent case, Rihanna was assaulted by her boyfriend, Chris Brown, and then Chris Brown was charged to be in prison for 9years for what he'd done on Rihanna, but what's next? Rihanna love Chris Brown very much, they were married last saturday at Miami at P.Diddy's mansion. Chris Brown apologized, begged for forgiveness and proposed to her, eventually Rihanna was surprised of the sudden action by Chris Brown and have agreed yet confessed 'I can't live without you'. Baby, i knew i've done something that hurt you so badly before, but i've changed, in terms, i won't be doing that anymore, i promised! I'll never break this promise i made because you're what's most important to me in my life. I know i'm ain't a Mr. 100% Perfect, but i've really been working it out with my weaknesses. All i need is you to forgive me of what i've done before, you've gave me a great "lesson" before this, and i've really learned from my mistake today. I'm very sorry baby...please forgive me, i'm really intended to be with you to settle down to be your man. I've always been faithful towards this relationship and you, i'm only seeking for your true forgiveness to settle things down together...i wouldn't have high expectation as how Rihanna couple have, but i only require you to forgive, and to love and trust me like how you used to...i was the Alby you used to know, yet i'm still the Alby you used to know, who's so much loving you to accept who he is for a better times together as you've said to me you wanted the both of us to forget and forgive the past, then to get things back becoming even better than before..

Your words, your actions towards me are most influential to me, i've never forget a single thing of you, even whatever things we've been through all these years...baby, i wouldn't deny anything from you, but i only wanted you know to stop thinking of the negative thought in your mind, but you're whom i met that i never thought we could flourish our relationship till the extend me too don't wanna live without you! You were the one who shine me in the night even when there's no stars or sun, you were still the one i most wanted to be with...


'I am always your honey bee, and you're always my beloved on the plane...'

p/s: "Love you till the bottom of my heart..."

-bEE-




Saturday, March 07, 2009

Truth.

I'm depressed. I do not know why and how, but the truth is i've never don't appreciate neither don't take one relationship seriously. It's been this long, i'm still being thought as a person who don't appreciate my beloved kind of person. How much have we been through, how much am i been trying to get your heart back, you've seen it. I admitted my mistakes which i lied and hurt you about the incident last year, yet that have taught me a huge lesson in life. Then onwards, i've never ever going to think about that incident anymore. After that long time of break, we got back, things been coping up, on and off, it broken down cause of misunderstandings at times. I've been true and appreciating you all this while since we got back! I don't fake, i'm ain't a pretender, neither a would be fake to you. I love you till the bottom of my heart, i will never deny i've been cold nor reluctant to you before too, you may be sensitive over it, but i've been true, i swear, and i did promised you that I'll never gonna hurt you anymore, i really didn't been cold or reluctant to you before. The lied i made last year, was my mistake, but ever since then, i've been true to you. I may be slow, i may not be that spontaneous, but i've been having a dull life without you for SIX MONTHS last year, i slowed everything down in my life, i became indecisive, i became slower in thinking, i became someone who's not really myself. I'm seeking for infinity of apologies, i'm not blaming you at all, but i just need your patience and love for me to recover from the SIX MONTHS of loneliness and dull life without you. The biggest mistake i've done had changed myself to someone i felt fed up of too. I knew you'll have a lot of doubts, a lot of questions, a lot of queries in your mind that "does Alby love me?", "do you appreciate me?", "have you been serious to me?", "do you take me as your lover?" etc..

ONE word for all the questions above, YES, i've always been appreciating you, i've always been serious towards the relationship (unlike those days anymore because i've learned my lessons), i've always been taking you not just a lover but even my life partner and for a definite answer, i definitely love you with all my heart yet till the bottom of my heart baby! You've got me wrong all this while, you've thought of me wrongly that i'm ain't like the fuckers or the bastards you've been thru with before. You can assume i am the same as them but i never lied to myself or even to you that i don't love you as you think, in fact, I LOVE YOU very very much deeply baby! The mistakes i've done, i've never deny before, and i've been doing all my best to give you the best from me. You've been mis-seeing me that's why you thought so. There's nothing i want from you EXCEPT you, your love and your trust! My love for you NEVER fade off before, i didn't treated you cold too but you had assume too much these days. I'm still the same Alby you used to know, i've never had a change of heart nor a change of feelings on you before. I may be blur and slow at times, yet i've been coping to change this attitude too! You're whom i gave everything to, you're whom i love most, you're whom i wants to live with...you're definitely not as what you thought i don't love, don't care, don't take it serious or don't appreciate you at all! I'm never that person towards you because i was the one who had been saving the relationship, the person who loves you won't tried saving the relationship so many times if they don't love you truthfully baby...and i love you truthfully yet sincerely! :'( what i said that what i've been doing for you was just to make you love me even more back baby......i'd it all written in all the hand made cards i made exclusively for you and they're all true words from my heart to you..please don't go baby!!~ bEe loves you for real from day 1 right up till today......

-[aLbY]-

Thursday, March 05, 2009

I'm Yours.






p/s: "You wouldn't know but i'm gonna tell you and let you know that, I'm yours...

-[aLbY]-

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

To be here with you.



A long day, and night, whatever that i've been doing and done is just to be with you, to be here with you. Everyday and night, i've been thinking of you, just to be with you by never letting you go. Where are you for the day? Where are you for the night? :'( i've been searching for you, but where were you baby???

-[aLbY]-

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Keep holding on, With you.



You're never alone because i've always been with you, keep holding on and never give up easily ESPECIALLY towards "us" because i know we'll make it through...



With you, no one else i would go or even think of, but only you! You make me fall in love with you, you're whom i want to be with, and that's YOU baby! I don't want anybody else but just you...and that's why i dedicated this for you tonight! :'( *miss ya*

Goodnight readers...






-[aLbY]-

Monday, March 02, 2009

Because of you, My life would suck without you, Let's make it work.



Because of you,...i found this guy singing Ne-yo's, Because of you, and he has a great voice! I'm so in love the way he sings it!



Many people said that this isn't a nice song to listen, but it has a great meaning behind it too..


NEYO - MAKE IT WORK - NEYO

If we wanted things to be well within us, we gotta work things out "together". I don't walk alone, you've been walking it with me, but don't make it like now, leaving it unsolve. i'll wait in time, for you to let go the past because i love you very much, i will be a better man, for you baby...i'd accepted whom you are to work things out all these years, i only requesting if you really love me too, work it out with me and accept me for who i am. Just for you to know, all this while, i really love you and accepted who you are, and most importantly, i wanna make things work between you and me, not anyone else baby...

-[aLbY]-

Sunday, March 01, 2009

null.

I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't sit, I can't stop thinking, and I can't do anything at all to hold you back. I'm so suffocating. I'm so depressed, everyday and night. Why i can never hold you, i can never make you hold me back no matter what i've been doing for you? :'( i misses you every day and night and been thinking of you 24/7! WHY??? :'( am i really as what you had in mind, a not worth to be loved person and don't deserved such people like me? I'm a such an asshole.. :'( i love you so much, i seriously love you so much yet had given everything for you, why can't i still hold you back? I just wanted you to love me back, i've got nothing extra to request from you, yet i've been doing my part, though it isn't perfect, but why did you hate me so much, why don't you love me anymore, why can't i just have you and your love only? :'( i'm only an ordinary person like anyone else, i just wanted to have an ordinary life with you... why should i be compare? Do u know i've put in everything into you,....and if you leave, you shall take my breathe away too cause i don't wanna live with such pain, i don't wanna live without you baby.. :'( why even the one who loves me still don't think i'm true at all?

-[aLbY]-