Feeling emotional...

I'm emotional tonight, it's so hard to put myself to bed! I really couldn't do it at all. The reminiscence of the past kept crossing by my mind and I couldn't forget or let it go at all! I can't put myself to bed at all, its 6++am right now, I've class at 9am till 6pm! :'( what can I do when my "other half" have moved on? What can I do to make myself like someone? How am I able to let go and forget the past when I've been thinking of you all the time? I really can't do it at all, although I'm being forced to let it go...why am I such a loser? Such a loser to everything...

Another scariest moment, my FYP is about to due during the mid of Oct09, and it's already towards the end of Aug09. I couldn't put my mind onto the FYP at all! I've been trying all these while, though I've been walking the journey of life all by myself, but you kept playing apart as the shadow which follows me like how we used to be together.. :'( It's very suffocating, I don't know how much longer I could bear this feeling and continue my daily life with all my tired and strenghtless attitude! Come to this, I almost met in an accident last evening while I was fetching my mom back home after visiting granny from the hospital in KL. While passing by the Old Klang Road outside Taman Desa, I actually doze off a few times, but I kept myself awake, before the traffic light, eventually I doze off and my front tyre ramp up the divider. Mom yelled and woke me up and said, "you actually slept while you drove just now? Haven't you been sleeping?..." I only nod my head and kept myself awake after that till I got back, and took 2+hours nap before I was out for dinner...I knew it's stupid, I knew everybody think that I'm stupid,...I just can't close my eyes while my mind has been thinking of "someone" all the time...maybe I'm still immature, "could take things, but not letting it go...". Everything we went thru together, has made my life today such a spoilt brat today... :'( I don't want it to be like this, but how? What can I do other than repeating my routine everyday and every week?!

Goodnight people, goodnight...I shall pen-off now, and will fulfill my words to do my write out as it's told in the previous post!

Lonesome,
-[aLbY]-