The Revealing . . . . . .

Finally, i've got something clear in between me and the person that i've feelings for all this while. Besides, it's the revealing day too. I dont care how others think about me and what do they think about me anymore, i'd enough of this feeling! The suffocating feeling which has been bothering me from the moment i came back from the national service. I'm going to reveal that i'm a bisexual indeed and i do like guys and also gals. Is there any problem with it? Whoever read this, is there any problem of being a bisexual? Other than that, is there a problem confessing to another which i've feelings for? Is there a problem? Why is it everyone treating me like a peace of shit hell out today? Why the FUCK am i being treated like this? I confessed my feelings towards the person i like hence i got rejected, that has already given me more than enough problem yet when i'm with everyone, why do they treated me as if i'm the one who made the relationship between me and the one i like an enemy? Why am i being ignored the whole day by everyone? Yes, i might look different today because I AM BEING REJECTED! Please, be compromise and understand my situation! I'm being rejected, of course i'm freaking sad about it!~ What do you people EXPECT ME TO DO? Act as if nothing happen and walk to the group and talk as usual? C'mon, i'm here to be MYSELF! MYSELF of being an honest person! I dont wanna act as if i'm happy and as if NOTHING HAPPENED! Dont tell me that you people wants to see me acting in a sarcasm way? "YEA wASSUP?" NO! NO! NO! I'm trying to be neutral here and express what i'm feeling! Yes, i'm not happy being rejected, but what can i do? Even the person who rejected me DONT EVEN BOTHER TO TALK TO ME!? How do you all want me to do? I've been very kind and honest enough with all of my friends, i sacrifices my time, money and also lots of things with all of y'll YET i'm being treated like shit? WHAT THE FUCK is going on with the world right now? Being a bisexual now is as if i've did any crime now! Even confessing to the one i have feelings for, the one i like or the one i love also a problem! Why? Haven't i been too good to you all yet or is it not enough to fool me like a mud? "Sharing is caring" This quote i've been hearing and using it ever since i got into the college hence i felt that its no true! Whenever my friends are in trouble, i would have go to that person and ask for condition but its not happening to me in the other way round now! Everyone seems to run away from me and DO NOT WANT TO GET ALONG WITH ME NOR TALK TO ME when i've problems. I really dont understand this. Why is it a person who rejected another could look at the person whom "it" rejected being ignore by everyone and dont even bother to ask whether is that person ALL RIGHT OR NOT? Is it really THAT DIFFICULT to break the ice with the person he/she rejected? I'll answer this for everyone who rejected another, "NO! It's not difficult at all because the person who rejected another isn't being hurt and could act as if nothing happened but NOT TO THE PERSON WHO BEING REJECTED!" I understand this, I understand the urge of wanted to hear another saying that "yea i like you, so what?" Who dont wanna listen to it? I'm sighing right now because things seems dont work well to me! I know even if the person who rejects another knows that eventually he/she has no feeling for another hence wants to listen to another saying that "yes i like you" but why must that person hurt another by not even bother to say "hi", "how are you doing?" or "is everything going fine there?" WHY NOT? Am i really that IRRITATING TO BE FACED or is it really nice looking at the person who got rejected suffocating from being IGNORE and NOT BOTHER BY ANYONE? YES, BINGO if you people think that way works! It really works! I appreciated what have you all did and i'm really thankful for you guys bought for me for my birthday gift. I always never had a chance to say thank you to all who had share the money to get me a thumbdrive and i'm doing it right here, right now! Thanks a million! I've been wondering too, am i a friend of anyone of you all who read this? Seriously, let me know, i can feel that at most time i'm not being treated as a friend more than only just a classmate indeed. "Hello" & "Bye"/not even a bye" when the class ended. Normally, as a friend of anyone or maybe if were to say as a respect to another, saying "bye" before a person leave is a manner but why my close friends arent doing it? arent saying even a "bye" or a "hello" sometimes? I'm wondering, is it really THAT DIFFICULT TO OPEN THE MOUTH TO SAY "hello" or "bye"? Think about it people, do anyone of you who read this ever think that i'm a friend/enemy of yours? Am i really that irritating, annoyed or being disgust looking here? If i am, tell me about it, i'll do something about it, i'll just do things that you people will never see it anymore! Let me know, please!~ Does anyone who read my blog all this while, respected me for who am i? Have anyone? I'm really really feeling as if its the end of the world now, why am i being treated as if i'm invincible throughout the whole day? Or am i not suppose to be in "community"? Tell me about it if i am really that stupid or a jerk to anyone of you all. I dont wanna see anyone of you all treating me as if "entertaining" or "layan". I want sincere treating, I dont mind to list out whoever this message is suppose to but what for? Would it change the fact if their name is listed? Have anyone thought of breaking the relationship with me now? Tell me about it if i'm being irritated or being a fool all this while. I know that i'm being stupid, being a fool and useless here. Please, let me know the truth! The truth that i've always wanted to listen to not only in the COMMENT BOX here but words by mouth. NEVER EVER ANYONE OF MY FRIENDS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE TELLS ME THE TRUTH THAT WHAT ARE WE(relationship)! ONLY ME TELLING THEM HOW MUCH I APPRECIATED THEM but till the end, i'm being ignored or being treated like a pillow, to back you people up sometimes. No one bother to talk to me, no one bother to know me more as a friend, no one is even bother to be honest to me at times! I know who am i referring it to but i dont wanna say it out because i know something not right has been going on but i just leave it and keep quiet. I'm here to justify how am i feeling right now! I have never ever tear for no reason but this time its different, i confessed by feelings, then i was rejected(1). Ok, i'm cool at it! Then, the following day, i'm being ignore by everyone(2)! After that, NONE OF THEM BOTHER TO ASK HOW AM I DOING AFTER THAT(3). What is this? Is this somehow a game? "hello" and "bye" story? Three months!~ Three months!~ It's the third month i've been studying in the college hence NONE of them bother to care for each other!~ I really dont understand why are my friends treating each other especially to me like this. The worse is i rather sacrifice myself not to stay in the group or on Earth. I dont want to be hated by anyone else. That's my worse choice of all, i've done it before but there's always some hindrance. That's what i can confess in here...

-[aLbY]-