The way you look at me . . . .

No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up to
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word

Coz there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's
nothing in this world I can't be
I'd never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

If I could freeze the moment in my mind
Be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock make time stand still
Coz baby this is just the way I always wanna feel

Coz there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's
Nothing in this world I can't be
I'd never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

I don't know how or why
I feel different in your eyes
All I know is that it happens everytime

Coz there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's
nothing in this world I can't be
I'd never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

The way you look at me
_____________________________________________________________________________________

The other day i heard this from the radio and its so nice! :) hope you guys enjoy the song! It reminds me of alot of things the moment i listen to the song again. It reminds me alot of the past, happy, unhappy moments...happy moments vs unhappy moments! Life is always full of obstacles and challenges. I've had many precious things, lost many precious things and then got back some again. Some things had changed, some things remain...some had gone worsten, some even better! Nevertheless, what i can do is jz to appreciate what i have now only. Although there's not much precious things left with me but that will do for me. I do not wanna be greedy anymore, i'm jz hoping that the natural flow would allow things to be better and get better from now on...

p/s: "What i want is the way you look at me...."

-[aLbY]-

Because of you . . . .

You're my sunshine after the rain
You're the cure against my fear and my pain
'Cause I'm losing my mind
when you're not around
It's all (It's all)
It's all because of you
You're my sunshine, oh yeah

Baby I really know by now
Since we met that day
You showed me the way
I felt it then
you gave me love, I can't describe
How much I feel for you
I said baby I should have known by now
Should have been right there
whenever you gave me love
And if only you were here
I'd tell you, yes I'd tell you (oh yeah)

[ Chorus ]

Honestly could it be you and me
Like it was before neither less or more
'Cause when I close my eyes at night
I realize that no one else
[ Lyrics provided by www.mp3lyrics.org ]
could ever take your place
I still can feel and it's so unreal
When you're touching me, kisses endlessly
It's just a place in the sun
where our love's begun
I miss you, yes I miss you baby, oh yeah

[ Chorus ]

If I knew how to tell you what's on my mind
(Make you understand)
The I'd always be there right by your side

[ Chorus ]

You're my sunshine
You're my sunshine
Oh yeah
_____________________________________________________________________________________

There's no lies in beneath, what i've been trying to do is really just to get us back together. I'm slow and dumb, but hoping that you would forgive me for the misthought that i don't bother about you or being cold to you. I really never thought of it before, i know things are coping back and getting better, but i really wanna keep you company from now onwards!! I thought not to rush and pressure you, hence, i work things slowly :S i'm really sorry!!~ This song and the lyrics are meant for you, and its what i'm trying to tell you too! BEcause of you, i'm willing to do anything just for you...i'm really sorry, please forgive me and do not neglect me baby :(

p/s: "Another dedication for you....because of you, i'm willing to do anything jz for you, give me time, give us time! I don't wanna pressure and rush you afterall...i love you lots, i'd never thought of giving up or leaving you before too baby!! Let me keep you company.."

-[aLbY]- @ -43-

BIG APPLE...

Hahaha i was so happy last night! Someone sent me dINNEr! After gym, i receive this BIG APPLE DONUTS when i got back!! Its really delicious, it was my first time trying it! I always wanted to try it but never had a chance to buy but...now i finally tried it! :D thank YOU so much! Really appreciated that lots! Knowing that i'll have no dinner as my parents aren't around and i wont buy dinner there you got me some donuts! THANKS!!!!!!~~~ Here are some pictures of my BIG APPLE DONUTS!!





p/s: "Dedicated to someone, thanks alot for the donuts! Love it so much...and love you too!"

-[aLbY]- @ -41-

Oh, when you're in love with someone, yeah

Oh, you

See, the heart that you helped to mend
Was broken by a friend
Your kind, kind words
I'm sorry but they're hurting me
Love letters that I've never sent
Hidden from your eyes again
You never seem to notice
But to others it's so plain to see
Now it's time to tell the truth
I wish I could, baby, say that I love you

When you're in love with someone
Dreaming of a tender touch
Yeah, I love you so much
To be friends is not enough
When you're in love with someone
(When you're in love with someone)
I don't know what to do
Describe that someone
Is you
(I hope you don't, hope you don't change a thing)
(I hope you don't, hope you don't change a thing)

My emotions cover me
Like a ship lost at sea
I'm waiting for the one who will fill my destiny
In my mind you undress
I touch you with tenderness
I open up my eyes, I can't believe you're right in front of me
I can feel that you see my pain
Then you say with a smile
That you feel the same

When you're in love with someone
Dreaming of a tender touch
Yeah, I love you so much
To be friends is not enough
When you're in love with someone
(When you're in love with someone)
I don't know what to do
Describe that someone
Is you
(I hope you don't, hope you don't change a thing)
(I hope you don't, hope you don't change a thing)

Ooh

When you're in love with someone
Dreaming of a tender touch
Yeah, I love you so much
To be friends is not enough
When you're in love with someone
I don't know what to do
'Cause that someone is you

I hope it don't change a thing
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Enjoy this song with the lyrics! It's meant for you, when im in love with someone, yea i love you so much!

-[aLbY]- @ -40-

Sob3r . . . .

I was awake at 6.30am to fetch my parents and sis to the airport, they're going to HK! My dad has a biz trip and so my mom and sis tagged along. I reached home around 9.40am, only got to sleep at close to 11am. And i woke up in the noon. I was at home the whole day on friday, studying...well, not really, coz i was sober the whole day! Things seems not going smoothly. Went out to grab lunch for myself and bro in the noon. Then i tried to study for the coming exam next monday and tuesday till evening. I only receive the sms in the evening which they were sent in the noon! ARgh, darn the MAxis line! Some things seems going fine, but ever since the sms i replied in the evening saying that the line was terrible and i only received it around 6++, everything changed! Nevertheless, no one would ever know how important you are to me but only me and you. You maybe doubting it too, but honestly, i've never reluctant you or putting you into other priority but the main priority. Sounds fake? Or im not honest enough? I could swear, it's the truth! Everything is the truth, i never fooled you, i never fake to you, i never give up onto you before too! Not even till today, i never give up onto you because i still love you very much and wanna get back with you to heal your 'wound' back. I know i'd hurt you before, i'm gonna be responsible for this, i know you're heartache, but of all the times when you've heartache, i did get you back and i really do. And now also the same, i'm willing to get things back, i do not mind to walk 99steps to get you back as long as you make one step to accept me back and i'll do the rest for you! I cared and i love you very much...i wouldn't give up at all because i do not wanna regret to lose you. All this while, no matter what you said to me, and i still insist to get you back, why? Not because i wanna fool you, but because i wanna perish you with love back. The love that we use to have..yea, it sounds easy to speak up, but for you, for all the love i have, i'll make sure i will proof it to you and never hurt each other anymore! I miss you...i really miss you very much! I wanted to have the graceful moments back with you. I'll assure you'll never regret and never be afraid of me anymore because i'll keep to my words, we will not hurt each other anymore and i'll treasure and appreciate you even more! Please give me this chance back baby...trust me for the very last time! I'm serious to you and i've never fooled you before...



p/s: "Only you, i only wanted you back and let us have a new start. I love you for real and i dont want to lose you baby...i wanna have you holding me back! I'll hold you tight too.."

-[aLbY]- @ -38-

Exhausted . . .

Last week till yesterday was really one of my busiest week ever! Rushing for assignment, preparing for presentation, preparing for work and work and....yea, needless to say i didn't change too. I remember i only had 1.5hrs rest on friday morning, then i went to college to do my presentation. Yup, i didnt do well, i presented my part out of topic and i didnt do well i knew it! Although the lecturer gave me another chance to present again that time, she did said it was fine and good, but i know i didnt do well. I'm a failure...then i rushed for assignment till 5pm at the college, handed in on time. Went back, took a nap around 6 till 7.30pm, then went out dinner with my mom, sis and bro at the new Giant around my area. Had pizza and we walked around the place, my eyes are terribly swollen! I was shocked too. After that we went back home...and there goes my friday...

Sunday, i went over to Ed's place to rush for assignment...i wasn't fine at all that day!~ I didnt get to do anything at all...after all the rushing for the assignment we only gotta complete it by 3am. I only got back home around 3++ and had only 2.5hrs rest before i go for work! I'm so lack of rest...





Monday till thursday, this 4days kept me busy at most time and throughout the whole 4days, i only got approximately 16hrs rest. Work at least 13hrs a day, from morning till night! I'm so exhausted!!~ I'd fever on wednesday night, my body was heating and i was having cold too. Flu for 4days summo...took some medicine and slept till over-time the next day, luckily i wasn't blamed at all as i told the people in-charge i'd fever and over-slept. Then, the whole day i wasn't feeling well at all. I'd terrible diarrhoea in the morning till noon. I'm really feeling like collapsing...its so hard for me! I felt like a total failure now!! Exam is coming soon, what have i studied so far during work? Nothing much eventhough i've completed 4topics of a subject! I dont know will i pass for this last 2papers before i get into level 2 or not too. I cant.....and i cant let it go :'( my tears tears non-stop during the last day of work. Tried to made myself tired and i really did, eventually i almost fainted during the tear down of the event. I was overly tired...

I miss you...i miss you very much...until today, i still cant let go! Tomorrow morning i'll be sending my family to the airport, i'll be alone till next wednesday with my bro. I'm feeling so lonesome...so forlorn...so sober...i'm sorry for all the heartaches and heartbreaks. I love you too deeply, i jz cant let it go. I'm sorry for all...

-[aLbY]- @ -36-

aNother dAy in pArdaDisE . . . . ! ! ! ~

Most will definitely thought that yea yea i'm very happy enjoying myself in a paradise but sorry guys, i'm ain't happy at all. I heard this song all of a sudden on radio, and....yup, insomnia again! Its 7.11am now, i can't sleep and i can't sleep!!~ I'm still depressed, tears still flowing but naturally without reason...i miss you! I miss you badly! I'm gonna have a hardtime from today onwards, i dont know will i get thru it this time or not, hoping that i wouldn't REALLY collapse at this moment only! I love you too deeply, really very deeply, knowing that we've known the problems, why dont we settled them down by learning and improving things together. I'm suffocating without you baby, i needed you very badly! I felt loneliness in me everyday and night in every second! How would you forgive me baby, i couldn't let go at all, still not at all. I'm feeling even lost and restless day by day now...God, please tell me how should i get it back together! For how much i really love and cared for you, even i've hurt you, i'm willing to change and improve myself to a better person, one and only chance i've been seeking and never had given up before...baby please give me this chance to get things back!

p/s: "I wanna have another day with you in the paradise..."

-[aLbY]- @ -31-

Shattered with tears . . .

One assignment due today and i just completed it without sleeping for more than 24hours. Last night i went out for some group discussion at Kopitiam but ended up becoming very emotional! No replies of sms at all after the last message. I was so unhappy over it, i really tried to convince and will really improve myself to be better to you and to love you more without hurting you anymore but in the end, im being ignored and rejected. I really feel the pain terribly. I still love you very much, i'm really asking for a one last chance for us to get back and develop our loveships back. I needed you so badly, i haven't stopped thinking of you every single moment! I really mean to get back with you and get alive back together with the love we use to have. I'm really suffocating without you, why don't you set the last trust for me to get things back. I didn't stabbed or said anything negative about you before and there's nothing bad to talk about too, please trust me i never mean anything like asking you to leave me before..i've always love you as how you do!

After the discussion, i decided to go over to my friend's place with beers along. I was really unhappy and i was drunk that night. Around 6am i reached home, and continued rushing for my presentation at 1030, i didn't sleep at all, it was really a sleepless night for me. I can't sleep of thinking about you...after my presentation at 12pm, i continued rushing to complete my whole assignment to be handed in by 7pm, i handed in around 5pm and reached home about 5++pm. Tried to take a nap before dinner, but i realized i really didnt get to sleep again! When i closed my eyes, you came into the picture again, i really can't stop thinking of you over and over, i really mean to get back with you afterall this incidents happened, i've known my mistakes clearly and really correcting them to get back together with you. I've always been sincerely chasing you back jz because i dont wanna lose you! I know you're afraid to be hurt again, let me hold you back, and i promised i will never hurt you again!!~ Please let me hold you back and dont avoid or hated me due to some misunderstandings. I've never meant any of those you thought in your mind before, i really have a pure heart now to jz to get you back and we'll love each other as before...I'm really seeking for this only chance from you. Please dont leave me...i'm really suffering alot without you in my life...my tears flows non-stop because i misses you very much and dont wanna lose you anymore...

p/s: "I love you with all my hearts baby, please give me this one more chance to get things back at the right track with you...i need you very much, don't leave me!!~"

It has been playing non-stop in my mind and whenever i goes it plays back this song, it really means alot to me and the meaning of this song is what i meant for you all this while too...CNY was the most unforgettable memories i had! Melodi by Lin Yu Zhong ft Sheila Majid.



-[aLbY]-

sCarEd . . .

Ever experience the person that you loved most feel afraid of you before? I'm one of them who is selected randomly on Earth. I love this person very much, so much had happened and yet we still got back together. Now i've made the person who always love and cared for me left me and never wanna forgive and accept me back. I'm a disaster in relationship. I felt restless that it has been a month or more that i'm trying to get things back but failed too. I'm such a scary person to everyone now! I've been keeping myself aside for more than a month, once in awhile i'll go out to relax my mind to release some stress but it came back to me in the end and i don't want it to be ended jz like that. I felt like a bastard now, scare someone whom we both love each other very much till avoiding me by changing everything in the life jz to forget me! :'( I dont wanna stay here anymore, i'm not forgiven yet someone i loved so much is avoiding me far far away...I couldn't face the community, i couldn't face anyone too! I felt embarrassed to show up myself. I've a disease now, it's called the "heart disease". If only you believe that you still love me, i'll still put in efforts to gain everything back...that's my motive to have you back without having you being hurt anymore. Baby...i need you and thats all i have in mind and my heart. I'm so lost and i'm so afraid to lose you all...let us develop back baby...

-[aLbY]-

i nEeD yOu bAby....!!!~~

Insomnia...insomnia...insomnia!!~ It has been more than a month i couldn't sleep well, couldnt eat well, couldn't concentrate on anything at all! What i could do jz jz thinking and worrying over it! I often emotionally unstable and i've finally fall sick now. And no one even notice that i'm sick as i pretended nothing in front of everyone! No one would ever know that im suffocating and depressing on my own! I guess even the person who should feel it doesn't know that i'm in terrible depression too. I'm lost...i'm very lost! I dunno what to do now, last sunday i thought everything went back fine and i thought i could cope things back but from the conversation on monday, it wasn't that fine followed by tuesday, our conversation had updated something! I jz realized i was the only who actually thought we "got back" in fact we didn't, i was the one who misunderstood the whole incident, in the end, i cried in front of the monitor without anyone noticing me crying too! It was so pain, the pain i couldn't describe how it feels but the pain was as if i'm really being stabbed by a sharp object into my heart! I can't stop tearsing on my own....no one knows about it again. I can't...and i can't let go my hands off you at all!

It was stated clearly all this while "i can't let go my hands off u.." and i really can't and won't too. Why? I realise i love you too deeply! Even no matter what had happened in the past or present, you're always the one that i love most! No one would ever know how much is my love to you. I know i have hurt you and left scars in your heart, but i'm sure time could heal the pain and the scars, the scars won't be seen so obvious too especially when "love" is filled back with "no more hurt". You told me you misses those time too, and it takes time to get it back! Then you also told me we could get things back but not so soon...i really do not mind to wait, as i wouldn't wanna have anymore! I'd enough, and u're the only one i wanted! The one and only that i love so much and the one and only who is willingly to love and cared for me so much! And that person is you! Now i'm losing you...and you hated me so much! I don't know how to hold you back...but all i've been doing is jz to get you back even no matter what it is! I love you!! I really love you with all my heart! I don't mean to hurt you in the past, but i really never hurt you with love before! I wanna get things back by filling u back with all the love i could give to you because i don't want you to leave me! I don't want to lose you! I don't want to lose someone who's really precious to me. I wanted you back, i really wanted you back eagerly! Please don't leave me...i'd learnt my lesson and i'll improve to be a better person. I really couldn't let u go at all! I love you too deeply...

It tears not only physically, i could even feel it in my heart tearsing! The pain can't be described at all! I only hope you could let me see you..i really miss you very much! I can't stand soon...i'm really feeling like collapsing soon. I need you so much, i'm willing to change, i'm willing to improve to be a better person, i wouldn't want any others too but only you. tHe only chance that i've been asking all this while, i would change everything back with no repeating of historY! Speaking out seems easy, but allowing me to proof to you is what i wanted now. I really need you very much baby...don't go anymore further, i'm really lost and collapsing...

You said to give us time to get things back, please give us time to get back. Don't run any further, can we try to get it back at the right track!? I'm willing to make the 99steps out of 100 for you! Please don't leave me, i need you very much! I miss the moments very much really, i will get it back! I will get it back as soon as you give me this chance! I miss the moments of holding your hands, i miss hugging you in my arms, i miss your smile...and i really really miss you very much! I wanted us to get back together. Don't avoid from seeing me please, it's very suffocating! You said to me you wanted to asked me out before last weekend, it's really a beginning for us to get back! Don't feel guilty, never feel guilty too, it wasn't your fault, it was mine, i know it now, i will change and i need you so much that's why you shouldn't be avoiding from me. In fact, i've always be the one who has been trying to avoid from meeting you although i wanted to because i afraid you may turned around and walked off in another direction. I'm really afraid...you're the one and only who loves and cares for me, i need you back baby, and i'll do more than before filling you with more than jz love and care but more love and more care! I'm really sick God....please help me! Please tie up the knot and let us continue with laughter and more greater happiness! I promised to my words, i'll make it a reality! I only wanted you back afterall...i love you baby....

p/s: "Tears every night made me suffer for depression, tears ever night made me miss and love you even more...baby, please give me another chance!"

-[aLbY]-

Miscellaneous...

I realized something on Earth, some human being are really just being not honest enough especially among your friends. Maybe it's a good thing, or maybe it's a bad thing, but to me, when i found out something in the end knowing that my friend is actually hiding something behind the scene that's what i really dont like. Although we isn't that close, but i guess that friend of mine knew something had happened and so he didnt being direct to say out the truth jz like when u said u went for movie with friends, in fact those friends are actually friends that u know and it happen that the friend who told you that he went for movie with friends. I guess there's no need to hide anything at all, maybe to not to remind me of something, but i guess it isn't the best way when i found out the truth, i felt i was being sTABBED! Treating your friend good isn't really a good thing at times. I was told to treat others good and others would treat you good in return, but i guess after all this experiences i've gained, i don't think its necessary for me to be that good anymore. Thats why right now i'm pain in the ass ON MY OWN! No one would bother how would i feel, how depress am i, how suffocating am i or how lost am i! This is gonna be the biggest trauma i ever had in life, it'll probably change me to someone else but who knows...afterall, being so truthful isn't a really good thing too, i found out i tell people the truth, people may not tell me the truth, better words to say I WAS CHEATED BLINDLY! This is what happened to me when i've FRIENDS who treated me like this! This is jz so pain cause i'm not in a good condition for long and i'm still in the shit life where things around me are getting worsten day by day! C'mon, am i really a f*cking assh*le who doesn't deserve to have truthful friends or to be loved by someone whom i've always been loving so much and never had fool "u" beforE? Is this a sin of what i did during my past life and now i'm gonna have the suckiest life ever? Is this what i should deserve? I'm so depressed right now....i'm sick now, i couldn't get into a good rest at all! Even a nap also i couldn't make it! WTF is going on with my life? Can somebody jz hit me and let me die off with no worries? I'm in a terrible situation now...i really need something back to make me ALIVE! I'm really gonna collapse soon...sigh!