Miscellaneous...

I realized something on Earth, some human being are really just being not honest enough especially among your friends. Maybe it's a good thing, or maybe it's a bad thing, but to me, when i found out something in the end knowing that my friend is actually hiding something behind the scene that's what i really dont like. Although we isn't that close, but i guess that friend of mine knew something had happened and so he didnt being direct to say out the truth jz like when u said u went for movie with friends, in fact those friends are actually friends that u know and it happen that the friend who told you that he went for movie with friends. I guess there's no need to hide anything at all, maybe to not to remind me of something, but i guess it isn't the best way when i found out the truth, i felt i was being sTABBED! Treating your friend good isn't really a good thing at times. I was told to treat others good and others would treat you good in return, but i guess after all this experiences i've gained, i don't think its necessary for me to be that good anymore. Thats why right now i'm pain in the ass ON MY OWN! No one would bother how would i feel, how depress am i, how suffocating am i or how lost am i! This is gonna be the biggest trauma i ever had in life, it'll probably change me to someone else but who knows...afterall, being so truthful isn't a really good thing too, i found out i tell people the truth, people may not tell me the truth, better words to say I WAS CHEATED BLINDLY! This is what happened to me when i've FRIENDS who treated me like this! This is jz so pain cause i'm not in a good condition for long and i'm still in the shit life where things around me are getting worsten day by day! C'mon, am i really a f*cking assh*le who doesn't deserve to have truthful friends or to be loved by someone whom i've always been loving so much and never had fool "u" beforE? Is this a sin of what i did during my past life and now i'm gonna have the suckiest life ever? Is this what i should deserve? I'm so depressed right now....i'm sick now, i couldn't get into a good rest at all! Even a nap also i couldn't make it! WTF is going on with my life? Can somebody jz hit me and let me die off with no worries? I'm in a terrible situation now...i really need something back to make me ALIVE! I'm really gonna collapse soon...sigh!