I miss you.

Baby, you've had everything of me wrong! I've never gave up on you, I've never don't miss you, I've never don't love you, I've never stopped loving you before! And now it makes an equation of I + Have + Been + Missing + You + With + All + My + Tears! I've been there, I've always been inside your heart, never ran out of elsewhere as you thought I had changed to somebody else. In fact, you are always my love, which I love so much! I miss you, I miss you so darn badly!! The days I couldn't see you were my nightmares, of all the things had happen in the previous time were a nightmare to you, but I've recalled I've had my lessons learnt, I didn't want it to be like the present, I didn't want you to walk without me, I didn't want you to do anything without me and the one I didn't want it to happen which I didn't want you to walk with anybody else but just me! :'( it tears so badly, it aches so terribly, it suffocate me till I wasn't at stake of breathing normally! With all this years of tears I've tears for you, it never that I thought you were a "waste-of-time" or "have regrets" before! You were my love, you are my love, I will always love you from the day we knew ages back! I miss you terribly baby...I'm suffocating, and I don't want you to have any misunderstanding from me as I've been truely honest ever since the last incident happened years back! It was my last time, and I've been loving you with all my heart, with everything I could for you...for the home we always want to live in!

p/s:

"Where you used to be,

there is a hole in the world,

which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,

and falling in at night.

I miss you like hell."

For what had happen in the past, there have been so much of changes, I've learned a lot, and I've never ever done that anymore. I've been trying to find ways giving you the best, but I'm always been compared with any other ordinaries which I'm far away from them yet I still didn't cut my breath off for you because I LOVE YOU with what we've developed from Day 1. It is easy to love one, but it is never easy to love one that loves you too. That was what you told me years back and that was what makes me commit to everything about you no matter what happens. There were times I've been accompanying you to sleep but you never knew cause nobody knows but that isn't important because God knows I did it for you. When you were away for this few months time, I've been missing you so terribly! 'Rain' falls everyday during the day and night, each and every second it kills my brain cells off for missing you baby! :'( my heart have been reserved for you since Day 1, till today, till my heart stop beating! I've never lied for not loving you before, words can be fake, but it has been over the years the blog "has" been written for you with tears... If everything were not true that we both said to each other, then this blog will be meaningless for me to continue writing. You are whom I want, never leave me for anybody, for all the silly mistakes I've done, I know that it hurts, it also hurts me too badly, I felt it too, but I've learned everything all from A to Z today! You've got me, you've got all my heart and soul off or you'll not see me being stupid that night! :'(

I'm stupid and that's a statement which I couldn't deny, but my stupidity doesn't affect my faithfulness, truthfulness and sincerity for you before! When I call you my "baby", I mean't it and you are always my baby! When you called me "baby", that was what I want that will never last...my heart is all given of to you but not anyone else before, let me hold you, let me hold you in my arms to give you the warmest hug that makes you smile! Please don't worry, I'm not pretending or being fake, but it is my hug that wanted it to last all time that makes you warm and happily being loved!

I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to be ignorant, I didn't mean to left you out, I never mean to side anybody, but I only want to have the honeymoon happily with you! I've never thought of anybody or anything but just you all the time! If I'm really telling lies, I wouldn't be writing for you, I wouldn't be texting you everynight, I wouldn't be depressed all the time JUST BECAUSE I'M MISSING YOU SO TERRIBLY! :'( although everything seems to be words only, but it means beyond what it means for you! I don't want to be like this anymore, I'm going crazy, I'm losing my attention, my mind, my consciousness, my patience and my tears! I don't want to be left out, I don't want to be deserted by you at all! I love you baby, I love you for everything you've said/done for me over the years which I've never forgotten before! I believe you told me this was true, "if others are so easily to be in my heart, I wouldn't have loved you all this while and no one is more important than you besides my family!" And for that, I knew you loved me for all we've developed together! I know I'm ain't perfect, I've weaknesses, never rejects others, easily to trust others, have hair loss, ain't a a rich category kid, but all I have is just a sincere golden heart that kept for you to love and to be loved only. On and off, I knew it was tiring, but I want to get it all solved for us to live together happily, to walk the journey together, to hold our hands wherever we go, to live under the same roof together happily! I miss you, I really miss you so much, which ever or where ever I go, you came across my mind in every second that cause me distraction without realizing anything that happens in the surrounding. Every second when I'm in the car alone, you were the one I've been thinking of, missing of so much till it tears each day!

I did went out for drinking sessions, I did went to the club or events, but it never stopped me from thinking of you before, when the midnight comes just before the sunrise, you'll have my SMS in your inbox, till today, you've been seeing "1 New Message" and that was from Alby Thum. I've never give up and I'll never give up on you as I've promised and it was stated somehow somewhere still over the years, "I can't let go my hands off you..." because my heartbeats for all the love I've given to you unless if you wanted me to be perished. I never cared about others before, I've never cared about how others looked at us in our relationship, but if you cared for what the others says that makes you hated me so much for all the hypocrites then it isn't gonna be fair for us, for me who isn't as what the BITCHES bitch about. I'm true to you baby...and I needed you more than anyone else including....some other people! :'( I just need your love and you which I wouldn't ask for anything anymore baby! TRUST ME!

p/s: "My love is never a lie to you before!"

For you from my heart:
"I think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart."
~by Albany Bach Reid

&

"I keep coming back to you in my head, but you couldn't know that, and I have no carbons."
~by Adrienne Rich

"My heartbeats for you will never stop, if only my heart stops, for that will be....and it will be when my heart stopped beating!"
~by Alby Thum

Love with all my heart,
-bEE-