First time in my life . . . . . . .

first day back to school again...everything was going fine N i am prepare for today...thought gonna chat with my bro again but nvr expect tht there'll be an assembly today, so he couldnt make it to come to my class as everyone will be going to the hall...i actually saw him walking passing by my class but i didnt call him as i can see he's a lil bz moreover it's monday morning!! anyway, it's alright as i understand his condition...a determine guy who wont confess by losing only 6marks in his latest exam to one of his friend...it's something proud bro!! put a lil more effort u'll won him by 60marks(as u said)...

i was damn tired today, so went for a nap for 1hour...then woke up N online to check up who's online...coincidence jj online N i think he was kinda bz with his work again...chatted less than 5lines i stopped N went for jogging...wow, i jog 6rounds today!!! aahha...nvr jog for sometime...kinda lack of stamina already...luckily i still manage to jog for so many rounds =) around 6.55pm i stopped N walked back home...reached home at 7.05pm, bath N had my dinner...after a lil while, i'd digestion problem again...i was kind of fedup N upset of this problem bcz i still cant get rid of this...had consulted the doc before N was told nothing is going on...so went out for walk around 8.25pm...

i was walking alone, emotionally actually...i was having some sort of stress N pressure nowadays...really cant stand with this problem...everything just clash into my mind at a time N i couldnt solve all them by myself...so i went to the field N had a sit N relax...i DID relax,...N i cried for 10mins to release the so called 'stress N pressure' i had...i was EXTREMELY emotional...what i was thinking were about my studies, spm, friends, family, gf, myself, my bro(the one i jus petted not long ago)...was thinking why is everyone somehow ignoring me! ignoring my existence N so on...

i really dont understand what's going on with the world nowadays?? what i want from my family is FREEDOM, what i want from my friends are CONCERN N having fun together, what i want for my studies is to get a good result, what i was thinking bout my gf is something tht i should tell her but i dont know how should i express it, what i want from my pet bros are CONCERN N love instead of ignorance N treating me as if invincible...in tht short period, these are what comes into my mind N i decided to call my pet bro;jj to talk about my prob...i dont know whether is he bz, trying to entertain me or it's his personality...when i talk to him, he's as if 'layaning' me N i was damn sad at tht time...he had already ignored me in the evening N yet he can also 'entertain' me lidat when im having probs...what i want is jus a chat with him...but he sounds was forced to entertain me when i asked is he free to talk to...i don wanna haf a blind relationship with him...i petted him is not for the sick of the name 'pet bro/sis'...what i expect is out of what i expect now...jus hope things will be betta later...

maybe im really mentally disturbed this days...couldnt control myself from expressing what im expecting all da while...sorry to those i mentioned above...i just want ppl to understand me but not knowing me as Alby Thum only...